Open Windows/Doors

At church I teach the 8-9 year olds, I love it! This past year we have been studying the Book of Mormon with my class. Lately, probably the last 4-5 weeks we have been talking about Moroni, the last prophet to keep record in the Book of Mormon. In one lesson we discovered that he had lived alone for 36 years (Holy smokes! That is my whole life!) As we continued to study we learned that the Savior had appeared to him, angels , and also the three Nephites had appeared to him on separate occasions. I found comfort in this, because when we feel like we are alone, we aren't really, we have a big brother to turn to, and he sends angels to relieve our suffering at times.

Last night the missionaries had had dinner with us. When sharing their measage one of the Elders had brought something up about this with a perspective I had never thought of, but found to be quite profound. So I will try to share it with you the way it was shared with me.

In discussing Moroni and what he had gone through I mentioned how we have been promised that the church will not be taken from the earth again. Here comes the profound thought share by the Elder last night. After my comment he went on to say how, unlike Moroni had been chased and hunted, and other followers of Christ have been hunted and slain through out history, we will not be. With that we ought to have faith and be courageous to share our beliefs, knowing that we have the truth, and be willing to share it with our friends and families.

When I had always thought about this in the past I had found comfort in knowing that the Savior will not leave us alone, and that we will always have others who believe as we do. I never really went past that. I loved how the missionary said we should have faith and courage. There is nothing to fear when the final score has been determined, pick your team, and play the game with all your heart. I wish I could fond the quote I am trying to quote, but I am not finding it(...if you know what It is, forward it or comment it and I will up date this...lol.).

Tis the Season

I love this time of year! People are more cheerful, the music warms the heart, and it is just a happy time of year.

Parenting Joys

While reading the adventures of another friend's blog. Her children provided the common service of decorating her home with a permanent marker. I have been lucky in that department so far, my children have only used crayons, dry erase markers, and washable crayola markers. But as I read her blog I reminisced about some of the adventures my children have brought into my life.

One day while taking baths I heard my children laughing. Laughter is a sure indication in my home of sheer mischievousness. I wasn't disappointed. When I rounded the corner I found my little man standing over the edge of the tub squeezing two tubes of tooth paste (brand new tubes)into the tub while his sister artfully smeared it completely covering the sides. I have to say it wasn't easy to clean.

Or there is the time while I was expecting the last little munchkin. I was so tired one day and thought I would take a little nap. I awoke to their older brother loudly exclaiming "What the...?!" When I went to see the problem I found a 5 gallon water dispenser drained completely onto the floor, my little man and his sister sitting in a box dead center of their mess stirring jello into their mess.

Most recently we had some friends over for dinner. My daughter came in and ratted that one of her brothers had clogged the toilet. We didn't think a whole lot of it, we would take care of it in a moment. Later when we went to take care of it we found a roll and a half of toilet paper mounting well above the toilet seat. It was yellowish. Ugh. Luckily our guests didn't have use of the room while they were there.

My friend previously mentioned said we can't live with out our kids. She is right. Life would be pretty dull and mundane without them. While living it sometimes it is almost terrifying, but looking back it can bee a hoot! Gotta love being a parent. *sigh*

Thanksgiving

We had a great Thanksgiving. We went out to see our older children. It was was fun staying up playing cards and chatting. Thanksgiving day was easy this year, the girls made some delicious pies, pumpkin is still my favorite, but the apple was delicious! We went out to eat, had great service and wonderful company.

Saturday we swung down to see my family. I can hardly believe how everyone is growing! It seemed like people should stay as you remember them. I guess when you go more than a year that is expecting a lot...ha!

Sunday we headed home. The weather was beautiful. We stopped by a ward in Laramie and then continued on our way. Oh! On black Friday I had bought a book on CD that has ended up to be a hit! 13th Reality. I thought it looked a bit cheesy but it is a really good book!

The ride home was great! Just before we turned into our street we ended up being rear ended. Nobody was seriously injured thankfully. However there turns out to be quite a bit of damage to my van, enough to keep me from driving it. Ugh. They say it will take 2-3 weeks to get it fixed. I guess it is more of an inconvenience than anything. I feel bad for the guy who hit us. He was borrowing the vehicle from a friend.

Life is still good. Just wish I was not a woman right now. In the next life when I am creating worlds things are going to be a bit different. I just thought I would share that with you, I know you will be sleeping better.

What was that you said?

Boy, what a crazy month! Sick kids are on the mend, hopefully in time for the festivities of Thanksgiving. Through it all we have become comfortable again with the Dr's office, the kids were reminded that it isn't all about shots so we are on the good. Through our latest adventures I came across one of the most bizzaro things. Something great to blog about I guess.

My little lady has been having problems in the potty department...again...The specialist that has been patiently working with us off and on the past 3 years suggested that we might want to see the a new pediatrician. This was just to rule out any biological problems. So yesterday began a new thing. Along with the pee trip they had us go to the x-ray lab. Curious I know. The x-rays actually came up with something. Let me tell you what I have learned.

Most of the problems my little lady has been experiencing lately have been due to constipation. The Dr. said this explains a lot. It explains why she has been having problems with wetting and solids. The wetting because she has a ball of...you know sitting on her bladder, and like someone who has had children, when it bounces just right or anything it causes her to lose it. Also it explains the solids not being so solid. there is liquid stuff that works its way around the ball of build up(which stretched muscles down there causing lose of feeling. So many answers were found, I am glad that it is only this. Not that it isn't a big deal, but it isn't things that I imagined. (You know how our minds can conjure up these crazy things.)

So back to the bizzaro thing. The Dr asked us to keep her off of dairy products until she was able to clean herself out. At school she has a drink of milk everyday. This morning when I dropped her off I went in and told the secretary she would be unable to have dairy products for a while. This is what blew me away, she told me she would need a note from the doctor stating that and they would not allow her to have fruit juice, instead she would have to have water....What? Back when I was a kid they only need Dr. notes for medicine and days missed, what is this world coming to? So if we were vegetarian, or vegan would she need a Dr. note for that too?

Crazy.

The Perfect Plan

With the past election in the past, I will say that I was hoping to give Romney a chance. With that said I want to point out the obvious: The sun rose again the next day, and it was a beautiful day. While I was a bit disappointed that things didn't go as I imagined they would there is plenty of comfort out there to keep me smiling.

First, I have a wonderful family, and though I tease them that I would change some of them for gold fish...it is simply not the case. My children bring me smiles all of the time(even in those moments of mischievousness), and my husband is my very best friend.

Second, which should probably be first, (or at least tie with it) I have a big brother with a plan. With the help of our Father it is the perfect plan. It is so perfect that if I put my whole trust in it I have nothing to worry about (D&C 6:36 "Look unto me in every thought; doubt not, fear not.")That does not eliminate frustration, pain and shed tears. It does however mean that if I endure to the end and do my part he will be there to take my hand when I am feeling alone and possibly even helpless.

Third look outside, among the chaos that we bring into the world, if you look up there is a beautiful sky. After each rain storm comes a beautiful rainbow. When I was a kid I loved running out in the rain and playing in it. I would imagine I was a mermaid, or a princess, What happened to those days? Sometimes we get so busy we miss the rain, the rainbow, the the beautiful clouds. *sigh* There is so much to remind us of a loving Heavenly Father. It is okay to stop and take it in once in a while.

Fourth, which could tie with first second and third, is the knowledge that I am a daughter to a King. So all of the pretending when I was younger of being a princess...well, there was more truth to it than I realized. And with my Father being a King, He is a King that keeps his word. He is bound when I keep my word. Comforting...I think so.

To close, I will share a quote I love:

"The future of this world has been declared;

The final out come between good and evil is already known.

There is absolutely no question as to who wins 

because the victory has already been posted on the score board.

The only really strange thing in all of this is

that we are still down here on the field trying to decide 

which teams jersey we want to wear!"

~Elder Jeffery R. Holland   

Being a mom is a great blessing in my life right now. I love watching my children! My youngest is discovering how much he loves music! It is a blast watching him jam out to some great juba, or listening to him sing his little heart out during church.

My little man has a perspective on things that just can't be matched any where. Because of this I have experienced some frustration, but more than not some laughs I could not have experienced anywhere else.

My lil'lady is one of those individuals that is constantly coming up with creative ways to reuse things, and make them beautiful. I guess that would explain the glitter I have been finding in her and her brothers hair for the last couple of weeks? She is good at making friends too, very social little butterfly.

Our teenager is fun to watch with his younger siblings. He is really good with them. He also takes pride in everything he does. I discovered the other day that he has a really good base voice. Choir is what he choise for his activity in high school. He loves paint balling with his friends and just having a good time.

Our missionary is enjoying all of the great people he is meeting, and enjoying being around military bases right now. It is fun to see glimpses into what he is doing right now through the letters I am able to receive weekly.

Our eldest son is learning the ropes of married life and seems to be happy.

Both of the older girls are doing great contributing to society with jobs they enjoy.

I look around and realize life is pretty good. I am blessed to be where I am at this time in my life. My husband is always reminding me of this. It is nice to take a moment to take it in and appreciate it, and this was the perfect month to do it!

I hope you dance

This song was an inspiration to me when I went through some rough times. 

I hope the same things for my children. I think this is the prayer for any mother to her child, but especially the hope of our Bigger brother for his little brothers and sisters.

Chello Wars-by The Piano Guys

Here is some talent I enjoy...I also like the humor hidden with in....bahahaha!

Happy Halloween!

The Piano Guys

Here is one that makes my day, it helps that was my favorite song....back in the day!

Ranting on the Moment

One more week, that is all we have before we can find relief from all of this political chaos. It seems like every where you look someone is tearing someone else down. Don't get me wrong. I find it important to know about those running for offices what they stand for, and their character. I believe it is important to cast your vote to make your voice be heard.

However, some of the stuff I have seen on facebook recently is just becoming overwhelming. It seems like each elections draws a deeper divide between people. Elections bring out the ugly in people. I have family members from every side of the fence. All demanding respect, but it seems today that the respect that is demanded demands that another's respect is lost. People wonder what this world is coming to but have no problem adding to the chaos in the name of demanding respect. What ever happened to respecting ones right to live the teachings of the Bible and the commandments of God? They want to take God out of everything, that takes from the rights of those who love and worship Him. There are those that want to change the eternal physics of the family. Then I find there are even things being taught to youth that are bizarre beyond words.

There are people out there that stand and defend my beliefs loudly...they beat it till its dead to dead ears. The truth is, the wicked do take the truth to be hard. The truth is today more than ever you need to understand, and know what and why you believe something, because the moment you walk out that door, open facebook, turn on the news....the list goes on, there are people who are going to challenge your views, your beliefs, your very being. They have absolutely no problem calling good evil, and evil good. There seem to be no consequences for doing so. This does not change however  the promises of our Savior. Those who are mistaken will one day admit they are wrong, just as they have in the past.

Thanks for your time. Signing off for the night. Happier thoughts ahead...soon I am sure.

Hope...Maybe?

Yesterday I had two people come up to me at church and say it looked like I had lost some weight. Then today I had another individual comment that I look like I have lost some weight. I know I should be feeling comfort in this and I am trying. However The scale hasn't seemed to be in my favor lately, and when I did measurements they too were a little discouraging. So maybe if I continue on the track I have been on, and working on eating full calories versus empty calories I will continue to see results.

I took a class years ago and they said it can take 6 to 12 months to begin seeing results after you are 30, and after you have had kids. Both of those are in my court. So I need to hang in there.

Thanks for the support I am getting from out there. It means a lot. I am trying to keep positive. Bear with me. And those of you out there attempting to make a difference in your lives, keep up the good work!

Measuring Up

Measurements were a bit discouraging this morning. I have gained approximately an inch every where. Its those empty calories I am sure, I have had less self control this past month. Jeepers.

Living Life

Well, I am still working on bettering my life through healthier living. Just in case you were wondering. I have averaged 3 days a week to the gym, and My average caloric in take is a little above 1800. I have room for improvement, but am doing better than I was at the beginning of the year. I would love to see myself attending the gym 4-5 days a week, but I have yet to accomplish that goal...lol! It seems when you have little ones the nagging feeling that they are only little once creeps in and I find myself thinking I will have plenty of time for the gym here in just a couple more years. So I am teetering at an average of 3 days. I have made four a couple of times, so I see hope. As for the caloric in take I need to work on more full calories, those empty calories seem to be plentiful this time of year, so I need to watch things a bit more. Oh, I haven't done my measurements this month...I ought to get on that as well. 

Communication 101

As a child I used to look at my parents and think they had this parenting thing down. Now as a parent I realize that they were just as new to it as I am. Okay, I know, I have had 7 years of experience, but as many of you are finding out each step in life presents new adventures, obstacles, opportunities to grow, and improve. Not only that, but each child is different. Who would have thought.

Now, with that said I mentioned in the previous post that I was a worried mama bear. In thinking about how I was going to deal with this I decided to talk to the girls mother. With this decision came some anxiety. Is her mother going to think I am off the wall, I don't want to come off accusingly, Is she going to see it the way I do? Is she going to think I am a bit crazy, controlling, out of control, or have no grasp to reality?

We met at a local restaurant, and I will say that none of my fears were realized. The girls mother is aware of her personality, and shares some concerns. She didn't seem offended that I asked to get together and I felt that when I left we are on terms where we can be friends and if necessary we can be a strength to one another through this growing up process. With that said I have to say I found relief in getting together.

Communication makes things so much easier, I don't know why it is so hard sometimes. Why I build so many fears and expectations of misunderstanding. Pretty much most of the time I have tried it, things have gone successfully, less pain, and better feelings...weight lifted. Now lets see what the next adventure will be.

Puppy Love 101

Boy, this must be the year. My first grader has informed me she is in love. Her teacher is helping us out with that one...Thank you Ms. V.

However our high schooler has a girl who is pursuing him hard. I wouldn't blame her, he is a handsome kid, he is funny and clever at times. My problem is they are both only 14. By the worlds standards they are fine I know, but we have a rule that our children can't date until they are 16. That is over a year and a half away for our young man, and then I don't think they should be paring off till he returns from his mission. He is doing well in school, and I would like him to stay focused. I want him to have friends and I don't mind if they are girls and guys. But this girl is very forward and very unknown to me.

It is weird, I am feeling very "mama bear" about this. She calls at all hours in the night, and always on Monday evenings when we are trying to do things as a family. With the two older boys I didn't have to deal with this until later...much later, and then it wasn't them being pursued by a forward chick-a-dee. I know that isn't necessarily normal, but I wasn't prepared for this. I hope and pray that he will keep his head about him and listen to the spirit. I hope if he is put in the position that he will run like Joseph did with Potiphar's wife.

Those are just the thoughts and concerns of a worried Mama bear tonight. Thanks for listening.

So Much Ado...

Well, you may be wondering how the eating and exercise are going. Alright I guess. I weighed myself the other day and was up to -8 lbs from the beginning of this plan. Sadly I weighed myself two days later to see that I had gained 2 back. It was a bit dis heartening to say the least. As for exercising, I am doing alright, but would love to be doing better. Two times I have signed up for a class and then was unable to go. Both times for the same reason. Ugh. I am trying to keep positive. I know it takes time to see results. I am feeling the results, but it sure would be nice to actually see them.

It is getting to be that time of year where it is hard to eat healthy. There are harvest parties, pumpkin treats everywhere. (I try to justify this being okay, because it keeps me regular....I know, TMI but you know its true.) Besides that my hubby and I found a new favorite Authentic Mexican restaurant, and it is really good.

On a side not I am struggling at keeping my word and cutting back on Pinterest. I am seriously addicted. I know why I need to stop, but I always think: "I am going to miss out on the cutest idea", or "Someday I will have time to do all of this", or I can justify it because I have actually started trying the recipes I have pinned." Yeah, but my kids are growing, and do they know undoubtedly how much I love them? I know there are so many things I can be teaching them in lou of the time I am spending on there.

Thank you for listening. I know I am not failing totally at everything right now. I am just overwhelmed with all of the things I should be doing better. And there are a plethora of those things, believe me.

General Conference

I love this time of year! The weather is cooling, and we have the opportunity to sit at the feet of the apostles for a weekend and soak up the spirit! (Except when little ones demand of our time and attentions.) Each time I discuss the teachings with others it seems we each took something different from them.

For this conference I felt like the things that spoke most to me are spending time with family and looking for the needs of others. I posted a blog entry of another mom who realized the importance of spending time with family over the computer. After listening to several talks this weekend I feel a renewed desire to "Do" rather than think about doing. I need to do more with my children, rather than spending time on the computer.

I have noticed this past week how much time I waste on here. I "pin" all of these great ideas to do with my children, yet they go undone, because I continue to look for great ideas. If I wait too long to do what I have pinned they will be too big to enjoy what I could do now. The point is I just need to start doing.

Yesterday In Pres Uchtdorf's talk he talked about the importance of actually doing. It is great to facebook and things, but it is better to do things in person sometimes. I feel sometimes I am trying to keep in touch with all of these people that mean a lot to me and then realize that many times I am missing out on opportunities that I could be doing with my children, who in reality need my attention more. I think I need to do less face book time and more real time. I need to Pin less and do more. I only have so much time. One day my children will be all grown, and I don't want to have regrets in their department.

So I am mainly putting this out here, so I can return to it and remind myself what is really important and find a different way to begin filling my time. Thanks for your time, I hope you were able to enjoy Conference as well, I bet you learned some awesome lessons for yourself.

Family Colors

Being a mother is something I enjoy more than anything! I love watching our children grow and experience life. It ceases to amaze me how different and unique each child is. I have enjoyed each of the older boy's personalities as he becomes "the big brother" or "man" of the house. Even the younger ones are fun to observe.

I have two that are very unique thinkers, the way they observe the world intrigues me. Both tend to be almost extreme black and white in their thinking, however, one has absolutely no fear and barely gives life a chance to sneak up on him, while the other is very cautious and deliberate on his approach to life. These two are considered to be middle children.

Two of the children are take charge and don't like others to tell them how to do things, they are both very creative in their approach to things, they live creatively and their surroundings are more eclectic, and a bit disorderly. Either one has the "it's my way or the highway" approach with their other siblings. These two are the oldest ones.

I have three avid readers! All of them like stories, reading, and being read to, but the three in particular have had to be asked to put down books to either do home work, participate in their classes at school, or participate in a meal with the family. These are randomly placed individuals, no rhyme or reason here.

There are three who especially love when the family can get together. One is more reserved in showing this, while the other two are more overwhelming aware of it and try to make everyone else aware as well. As the last two watch older siblings grow and move on they have struggles, but are learning that the others return. I think it is harder for one because everyone is so spread out in distance, while for the other he is just used to having everyone there to adore and entertain him...both of the later two being the youngest's (not quite sure how to put that one *grin*).

One of the children has a hard time recognizing the talents they have been blessed with, only because their talents aren't musical, or molly moe. However that isn't the case, when the try things they are almost always a hit. This one works great with a verity of personalities and because of this is often lifting and helping those that are "lost causes".

We also have two that are tender hearted. They are at times overly sensitive when others say or do things. But have a way of saying things themselves in a manner that can come off less than sensitively. They are interesting to watch sometimes. 

All eight of our children have amazing attributes they bring into our family dynamics. Each of them add a color to the tapestry we are weaving together. The tapestry I speak of is becoming more and more beautiful. I love those times I am able to step out of the moment and God gives me a small glimpse of how the tapestry is coming together. I realize I am only receiving glimpses but they are enjoyable all the same.

I love watching this. A friend of mine showed it to me and I love it!

Just for fun.

Love this!
It's all about motherhood.

This just blows me away, they are talented!

This gave me a chuckle...hey, it still does!

I love the message of this video, Ignoring the fact that it is for a shampoo commercial they did a great job.

I love this song, and my littlest just went to sleep to it, so I though I might share.

Enjoy!

This was fun.

A Gem in the Rough

I have been struggling with many things lately. Losing weight, organizing my home, organizing my life, feeling like I am spending quality time with my children, teaching my children, etc. Tonight I was on Pinterest (it has become a great weakness, and I am deciding I need to cut back on it...a lot.) While I was on I came across an article I had pinned with he intention to read sometime later(realistically with all of my pins it could have been never). However, that time just happened to be tonight.

As I read this article I realized there are many things I need to change, and the article gave me the tools to do it. After reading it I thought I ought to share it with you. If you are struggling with some of the things I listed up above, I hope you will take a moment to read it yourself. If not, then carry on your marry way, and I might have another enlightening share or thought in the future...And please, don't take it personal, mainly I am doing it for easy future reference for myself, so here goes:

Seven Strategies for Having More Productive Days

Now if you see less of me on facebook, and pinterest you will understand that I just might be succeeding at being more productive, and spending quality time with my family. I am not dropping my blog, just going to schedule it for a time other than late at night...*sheepish grin*.

This entry is going to be a little different from the ones I have posted recently. During my work outs lately instead of grabbing a gossip magazine I have decided to take one of my own magazines. This way I am reading something I otherwise may not make time to do. On my way out the other day I just snatched the first magazine I saw and was out the door.

While walking on the treadmill I opened to this article: How Disciples of Christ live in Times of War and Violence. It is interesting to me that I turned to this. Everywhere we turn we hear of the world falling apart. One looks at the news and you see devastation after devastation. There are those out there who have little or no value on human life. Others are out there claiming the world owes them everything and have done nothing to earn what they claim. People berate and judge each other and think nothing to tear another to pieces. Abuse runs ramped in all forms be it physical, psychological, sexual, mental, verbal...this list is endless, and many times over whelming.

The other night as my husband and I readied ourselves for bed I asked him: "Do you ever worry about what the future holds for our children?" After thinking for only a moment his reply was sincere and simple. He said: "No, because Heavenly Father is in control."When he first responded I was frustrated that I didn't show the same faith. (Sometimes I think I get more caught up in the moment and forget to have my eternal perspective.)

Yesterday as I read the article above it helped me to understand more what he meant. I know he has the same worries I do, we want each of our children to marry their best friend, and to be smart, funny and all that, but the most important thing we can want for them is to know who they are. I believe that when we know who we are it is easier to understand what the Lord has planned for us on an individual basis. Okay maybe understand is the wrong word. How about trust instead. It is easier to trust that the Lord is keenly aware of each of us, and has a plan for each of us. When we realize he is in control and we trust he has our best interest at heart, it is easier to follow the examples put before us, be it through scriptures, journals, or family.

As I read the article above I was reminded of how Father in Heaven has cared for his children in the past. I don't think I have even become to grasp what He is trying to teach me this year. In the beginning of the year I was invited to make an effort to read The Book of Mormon again. Each chapter I read I felt the love the Lord has for his children. Those children who love him and allow themselves to be his instruments weren't always spared hardship. In fact rarely that was the case. However, every time they turned to Him, they were offered comfort, peace of mind, they were made strong, and though some of them were brutally killed, abused, and miss treated, they received the reward for their faith and enduring to the end. We have received the same promise. He never told us that this life would be "comfortable". But I believe that as we go through life and scrape our knees, or have others wound us that he can heal us and help us grow if we but let him.

Sometimes I get overwhelmed by all I see in the news. I feel so blessed to be married to my best friend. My husband, he compliments me in so many ways. I am thankful for our church leaders, I know they are called of God, and I am looking forward to hearing from them here next weekend. They are inspired men. I know God loves each of His children. I am thankful for the Savior and his following through with his promise to us. There truly are things to be grateful for. Amen.

While at the gym today I came across this article: Loving My Enemies. As I read this article I realized I do not have enemies like the author of this article. However I have had people come into my life at one time or another with whom I have struggled with. I have mentioned some about this in the past.

From time to time I question if I have truly forgiven those who have placed an offense in my bucket. (I have to admit, my bucket has been feeling heavier than I would like lately.) We are told in the scriptures that we must forgive if we are to be forgiven ourselves. Yet while talking to a friend the other night I realized I have not entirely forgiven those who have cast stones. Believe me, like everyone else I have plenty of reasons to "be careful". I have come to not trust some. While I have felt that is okay(when you learn a hot coal is going to burn you it doesn't mean you go out of your way to pick it up again. It is okay to warn others that it is hot, but I am learning that maybe I don't have to go into all of the details in how I discovered this coal is hot. Nor do I need to explain why I am avoiding it, once I have warned others I should not have to justify. They can learn for themselves. Many times all they need to do is observe for themselves and they will see it too.)

I guess in reading this article I realized that it is not always necessary put yourself out there to be burned again, but it is important to love. I was listening to a talk by Sheri Dew a while back and she made the point that we shouldn't talk about things we don't know entirely about. While we can't understand everything the Lord can help us with our short comings. If we are humble he can help us learn to love those we think are un-lovable. I am finding that more than anything I need His help in this area. Other wise I an going to become a bitter person, which I don't want. But it is like He has said He can't help us unless we ask. I mean look at Nephi when he broke his bow, if he hadn't done something himself he could have quite possibly died and what good would that have done for us? Not much. Or the brother of Jared, if he hadn't done his part the Lord may not have done anything for them to have light.

Even if the offenders never ask for forgiveness, and continue to offend I need to turn to the Savior and ask for his help to love them as he does. More likely than not I don't know everything( okay, I know I don't know everything.) Therefore if I want to be forgiven I must too forgive and learn to love as the Lord loves. It is true I have a lot more to learn. Thanks you for your time. Until next time, Tchao-zinho.

Pests

Ugh! It is almost three in the morning. Less than an hour ago I awoke to the sound of chewing. If you have ever had mice you know what I am talking about. As a girl I had pet gerbils, and two pet rats. Now I have mice. Again. Only this time they are not contained, and they are not welcome.

A couple of weeks ago we saw signs of them in our pantry. My hubby was quick to set traps and we caught 3 in the first four days. But since then when the traps have been checked the peanut butter has been meticulously cleaned from the trap, and the traps are still waiting to spring. It is like the mice waving their little tails at me as if to say"neener,  neener" and to night I actually watched it run across our hangers!

These varmint are unwelcome little guest. As I type this, my husband just flushed one down the toilet, so that make 4 down now...how many more of these buggers to go? I want to rid my house of this...ugh! I feel like I could vomit at the moment, and am not sure what we can do. We have set traps, laid out poison, but we have to be careful with that because of little ones. Plus we have bought those sonic sound things! I wish I was not allergic to cats. Believe me the thought of becoming a cat woman has crossed my mind.

Let's try this Agian.

The past two and a half days have been thumbs down in the eating department. Seriously. As soon as I wrote my last entry I ate ----girl scout cookies. If I had stuck to four I would have been with in my calorie count, but I didn't instead I ate my little heart out, and to be honest, I didn't even enjoy it. Then yesterday we went to a friends restaurant....buffet at that. I only had one plate, but he makes comfort food, mashed potatoes, fried chicken and then of course a complimentary bowl of ice cream...lunch took up pretty much my whole daily caloric intake allotment, then there is dinner and the FHE treat, so, a hundred million calories later... And then there is today. I made the mistake of buying my littlest a bag of gold fish. they only have 3 calories a fish, but the problem is, you eat a handful of those and have the munchies the rest of the day..."Oh, poop!"...and little self control on my side today. *ugh*

Lets just say I am glad tomorrow is another day. I am not buying any goodies for the kiddos. And I am calling in the self-control brain sells. Wish me luck. And we are off!

Silver Lining

Well, after my last depressing entry I decided to do my measurements. When beginning this new way of life I was told by a friend of mine I ought to do my measurements, because that is sometimes where you see the changes first, not so much on the scale. After comparing from last month, I have to say I am duly impressed with the results, even though they are small, they are there.

On my waist I have lost two inches, hips one and three quarters. In my upper arms, one inch and three quarters. Thighs, one and a quarter. Calves I have actually gained a little less than an inch, and my bust I have lost two and seven eighths. (No wonder I looked more pear shaped than I remembered when I looked in the mirror the other day.)

Lately I have noticed it isn't as desirable to snack as much, especially in the area of chocolate. I just don't feel like those empty calories are worth it. A while ago I read it takes 2 laps of a football field just to burn one m&m....ouch! Do I really want to do that, or more importantly can I? At this point the answer is "nope, not a chance" so that being said it has been my motivation in the department of chocolate. I used to justify it because I would only eat "dark" chocolate for the anti-oxidants...or what ever. But here is the deal, you can eat a ton more blue berries, drink all the pomegranate juice you want (which also contain anti oxidants) and not even begin to reach the calories you get from only 1/4 cup of m&m's. By golly, you can even make some great shakes and add more nutrients and I figure you are spending the same money wise (I mean look how the price of chocolate has gone up just in the past year...believe me I know), but also feeling better after and it's pretty much guilt free. I know I am sounding weird to myself as well, but it is great! This health logic is beginning to be a part of me.

So you might be curious to if I have seen a difference in my weight. This past month I have lost about six pounds. I know that is small. I am okay with that, as long as I am becoming healthier and feeling better I am A-okay with it, because I know in a year, others might be noticing, and even if they don't I will. Who knows, there may be another girl in kick boxing looking at her legs and thinking she is the one with stumps, and I will be able to tell her to hang in there and she will reach her goals.

Warning: Rant Session.

Consider yourself warned. So, I went to the gym today. I had planned that I would swim laps for an hour. I was stoked, back in the day(in college) I loved swimming laps! My room mates mom taught me how to do it correctly and I just loved the way I felt when all was said and done.

I hopped into the pool feeling pumped and ready to go, but half way through the second lap I felt like I could just die! Seriously, who said life could catch up to me like this? Earlier on in the week I went to do a kick boxing class. I made it only 15 min. before I had to quit. Catching my breath was really not going so good. Besides, every time I looked in the mirror I saw these other ladies with dainty ankles, and thin legs. When I looked at me I could see things jiggling, I feel like my legs look like elephant leg stumps that have been through a major hail storm...which is entirely possible out here(no offense to elephants, it looks good on them, but I am having a hard time pulling it off.) So I bowed out and went to the treadmill instead. Today once again I had to take a bow and joined the Senior ladies and they did their winding down stretches. Once I was able to catch my breath again I went and did 5 more laps.

The most frustrating thing about this whole thing is, 20 years ago I could decide I was going to do something and do it. Today I want to do something and I am giving my whole effort, and then a lung, an arm, leg, almost my life. People have warned me of this, that age does strange things to us. I wish I had listened more carefully. I am going to get myself so I can do what I want again, and I plan on persevering, but it stinks that I haven't taken better care of myself. It stinks to look in the mirror and see where age has taken me, though some of it I have rightfully earned through giving life to 3 precious children. There is hope though. I know if I keep things up I am going to be feeling better, and even if the elephant legs with hail damage remain I will be setting an example for my kiddos, and like I said I will be feeling better as well.

Where I feel Like Pulling out my Hair

This past week and this one are on my hit list. It seems since I have returned home, my little lady has decided she need make no effort for using the bathroom. She doesn't seem to have any problem with sitting in her mess either...for extended periods of time. How do I take care of this? I have tried a sticker chart, she cleans her own messes, we have tried earning privileges, losing privileges and I am feeling at wits end...*sigh*

Starting yesterday my littlest guy has decided he want to be a bully. He has started pushing and hitting, and today he was just taking toys from other little kids. When I returned to pick him up from a child watch at the gym, they informed me he had had two time outs. *ugh*

I love being a mother, I do, there are just those moments that keep me perplexed and frustrated. Thanks for the ear.

My littlest one is not liking his older siblings all being in school. Poor kid.

Home Coming

Last week I was out west. While out there, I had the opportunity to spend time with some of my family and friends. I loved it! However, I missed my hubby and chillins. It was great walking in the door and knowing my own bed wasn't far.

In returning home the other night I walked into see a beautifully bright colored poster that my children had painted for me to welcome me home. It had their hand prints, and stick figures along with flowers. It was a warm fuzzy. With it being late all but my pre-schooler and hubby were in bed and fast asleep.

As I was getting settled I noticed sticky notes in miscellaneous places: the fridge, light switches, the piano, cup boards, the bathroom etc. Assuming that our young man might be taking a foreign language and had done this I didn't think a whole lot about it. However, yesterday as I went to turn on a light I noticed the sticky note read: "lady bug" then I noticed that others had random words written by my first grader. Questioning the purpose of the stickers, my brilliant little girl said in great enthusiasm: "Mom! I decided to make my own word search! I put words and pictures all around the house, here is the deal, if you find a word you gut one point, if you find a picture you get ten points." See, I told you she is brilliant.

I love watching my children grow up. It is a privilege I wouldn't exchange for any other. Seeing them explore and interpret their surroundings is an adventure.

Puppy Love

My first grader confessed yesterday that she is falling in love. I asked how she knew she was in love and she was happy to share her little story with me.

You see, there is a little boy in her class who serenades her each day. He sings her songs like "I love you like a love song" only he changes the words just for her to say: "I love you like a love song, princess..." She said that means she is special to him.

As mom, I am glad we are only in first grade. There are many lessons to be learned between now and when she is bigger. I hope she is patient and enjoys life. When I heard this my heart skipped a beat, my little girl is being influenced by people out side my realm in a small degree. I hope I teach her everything she needs to know as she grows to be a confident young woman, who knows her worth as a daughter of God.

Is this when the roller coaster begins?

Being the Mom of a Teen....Round 3...*bing*

In the department of mothering I think I am figuring something out. It is difficult to talk to teenagers. This isn't new, in fact I am sure any mother would say its about time I noticed. For two teenagers I just left the communication to their dad, obviously they wanted nothing to do with me...so I thought.

This past weekend with high school starting I was almost mortifies to let our son begin. Honestly homeschooling was considered (that thought alone terrifies me!) For some reason I forgot what High school was like. I hated it yeah, but I survived, that door came to a close and I easily moved on.

Last year each day our son came home from school I asked him how his day was. Each day his response was...and I quote: "Okay, I guess." When I pressed to find out why it was "okay" I really never got anywhere. I came to the conclusion that was the communication I was going to get and I settled.

Monday I asked our young man how school was. You would not be surprised to the response I received. Yep, you guessed it: "Okay I guess." With that as my response I decided to ask how particular classes went. In the beginning he was vague and acted disinterested in my interest. Unthwarted I decided to to dig a little more about a class he had lit up about. To my surprise he not only opened up, but he has made more effort to hang out with the family and just hang out to chat. I have to say I am liking this. It is great!

Exercise Feels oh so Good!

Day three has gone great, the pain from day one has subsided and I am excited to be feeling so good! I know there are some tricks to eating right, not just counting calories, but making each calorie count. There has got to be some way to make the calories work in your favor. I wish I had time for a nutrition class right now, it would be great to figure this stuff out. As it stands for the moment; it just feels great to be active again!

How Goes the new way of Life?

While my awareness on calorie intake is mostly better, I still have a few of those days...you know where the chocolate wins and I feel a bit more guilty than I prefer because simply said: "Those were calories I would rather not have to worry about." This week I have added to the mix exercise, two days in a row. The first day has caused some aches I am still feeling. The second day I took to strolling the mall and doing 6 laps while waiting for a shoe store to open. Well, I am hoping to more than feel the out come one of these days...weeks...months. Like others I am hoping to see the effects of my efforts. Just wanted to put this out there to keep myself some what accountable.

Just How I Feel...

Here is one of my most favorite songs!

Up-date on the Chillins

Our teenager had his second day of high school and survived. I think I am more scared of him being there than he is...I can be corrected on that and wouldn't feel too bad. I have observed some of the kids at his school, and wish I had a bubble to raise all of my children in.

My little lady had her first day in first grade and enjoyed her new teacher, and having some of her friends in her class from last year. A couple tears escaped as I dropped her off...she is growing a little too fast for my likings.

My 4 year old was devastated he doesn't start pre-school for almost two weeks. Bummer. He is going through a phase that is quite entertaining in its self, he says the darnedest things. An example of this is the other night. While I flossed my teeth he came in and stated; "Mom, I feel something between my teeth, and it is my brain." He was as serious as I can get out.

The youngest has been extremely clingy lately. He is a close up shadow, the kind you have when you haven't drank your V8 yet. I am trying my best to enjoy it because I know how fast they grow, however there are those moments.

I am looking forward to getting back into some sort of schedule, and here we go!

One Step Forward

Today I can honestly say: "Did a little better today!" I was under budget on calorie intake. I think I might start seeing more results if I add more veggies and fruit to my daily menu. I do great in the area of carbs, and protein. In fact I could eat a little less, and I might start feeling lighter...lol. However those fruit and vegetables just don't jump out to me. Even when I have them around the house.

In reflecting on yesterday this is my observation in failing so miserably. To begin, I had started out my day with some delicious peanut butter popcorn. While it is delicious it is far from filling, and full of sugar. Throughout the rest of the day I could not get away from those munchies no matter what I ate. And we all know a growling stomach makes anything sound good. Dang! So my calorie intake was way over!

As I have been experimenting with this new way of life I have noticed this: how I begin the day is more than likely how I will end it. Meaning, when I start out with a healthy breakfast I feel fuller(that just looks wrong to me, but spell check left it..so...) and have less desire to snack throughout the day making it easier to stay with in the desired calories. When I start on the wrong foot...aka a breakfast full of sugar, or empty calories, they are just that, and I feel hungry all day(and unfortunately that means I snack all day and it doesn't really matter what it is, it won't fill me up).

When I began this Choosemyplate.gov I though it would come easy. When I start out right in the morning it is much easier than when I don't. However I do have my moments where I am feeling weak. It is interesting to see my thought process at these times. I am accountable to myself, no one else will know or care if I buy that candy bar, but if I go over my calories it stinks. I have a goal I want to reach and weakness will keep me from reaching it. Strength and desire will help me reach it. We are told we an have the righteous desires of our heart. I feel this is one. When I am feeling weak I can find strength and eventually my weaknesses will be made strengths. That is the promise.

The one where I took 2 steps back...

I hate to report this, but I ate way over my calorie allotment today. Ugh. Where is the mercy? I need to get into an exercise program so when I go over I can at least counteract it somehow. Blah. Doing house work just isn't cutting it right now. Maybe God is blessing us with this beautiful weather to help motivate me. Now to be motivated.

Ouch!...

170 calories over today...no thanks to m&m's, those buggers eat up calories, and all I had was a quarter of a cup. I will get this down. I will.

On a happy note, I made 2 days in a row under allotted calories!

It is funny, I used to hate counting calories because I felt like it meant I had an eating disorder. (Back in the day I didn't count calories and I did have a problem.) However, this time I am doing it to be healthy.

I love coosemyplate.gov!!! My husband and I are doing it together. It isn't a particular diet. All you do is journal your food intake, and it calculates your calories! Actually, that isn't all it is. When I began I put in my age, sex, and weight. Then I put in my goal weight. The program calculated what my calorie intake should be, and then whether I choose to do moderate or high exercise. Depending on what I choose determines how often I need to do my exercises to be successful. Easy right?

Mostly it is easy. However I will say that the natural man is sometimes found to be weak when it comes to this easy stuff. Beginning this program I have decided to put my emphasis on my calorie intake* for start. As I master that my plan is to move my focus a bit more on exercise. I am able to count cleaning floors as exercise, only it is a little disappointing to see not many calories are burned...*grin* So it may be that you won't see the results as quickly as I though...maybe you will. For the moment I am taking it a day at a time and a moment at a time. I do plan on making this a way of life, I have not given up.

*Something cool about the website I report to is it differentiates between whole and empty calories, whole ones being the good, filling ones. I love this! I am finding as I lean toward whole calories I don't feel the desire to snack as much, and I feel full sooner. It's a good thing.

** I also love that I can put in my weight and am shown graphs for how I am doing. There are graphs for my weight, food intake and exercise. I love graphs, they put things into perspective for me. 

I want to thank the cheer leader on here, Keiza I appreciate your supporting words, they are cheers that are much appreciated!. Thank you!

day....

Well, this is the first day I will be successful at eating below the desired calorie limit...feeling good.

And just in case you were wondering I resisted from buying those coconut m&m's that were calling to me in the checkout line today...I am feeling good, wish I was that strong every day...just had to share :)

Lets get Healthy

I am feeling stoked right now.  My husband and I are teaming up to eat better and live healthier lives! We are using the choosemyplate.gov website to track our eating and exercise! A good friend told me about it a while back, and it has taken me this long to look into it and  get serious. Right now I am just starting and failing a bit. However, I am already ahead of myself last week. I am doing something about it!

I want to actually stick to this this time, and make it a life changing event. I am going to make it a way of life. Not just till I meet my goal. I am going to live a healthier life and make this a family thing. In the past when I have though of doing this I though it wasn't fair for my children. However as I have been doing my study in this I am finding that you can have just as much fun eating healthy.

My plan is to have more fruits and vegetables around the house to snack on. I am not going to stock up on baking goods I don't need at the time. When I don't meet my goal for the day I am not going to kick myself and give up. I am going to take each day as a clean slate. I am not going to dread eating healthy food any longer, but enjoy it. I am going to make time for myself in the exercise department, because I feel better when I do.

Last week my little man told me: "Mom, you have a big butt, and I mean a really FAT butt."

This ladies and gentle men was my incentive. Here we go. So I hope in the next couple of months, and year or so you will be seeing a difference if we cross paths. Thank you for your time and support.

Growing up is fun to do!

What an exciting day for our young man!!! He received his first pay check! He is now a rich young man coming into manhood! Our first stop before coming home was the bank. He opened his first savings account just so he could cash his check. The whole time he was filling out the paper work he had a grin the size of Texas, looking and feeling quite proud of himself!

Sitting as a parent on the side lines was just as proud! I had been talking to the gentleman over him at work, and he says he works hard and has a great attitude. I hope I had a goofy grin the size of Texas on my face as well, he sure makes his pappy and I proud.

Funny thing, as we were walking out to the car I told him he was becoming quite the young man too fast for me. He replied: "I have been becoming a young man for a while now." like I might be oblivious. Only today it wasn't a baby step, it was the step of a proud young man.

Piano Music

I was listening to the Piano Guys on Youtube and was flood of warm memories from the past.

Back in the day when attending Ricks College (now BYU-I) I lived with an amazingly talented family! They sang, danced, played instruments, and sports. Each Saturday I would wake up to the song above being played by my roommate. I loved it, I still do. Waterfall would be her warm up song, followed by many other pieces I enjoyed.

Going back several more years I remember trying to be as early as was permissible to mutual. If I was early enough I would here one of the young men and a leader "tinking" around on the piano. They would compose their own music, and through watching them you could tell that they not only enjoyed what they were doing but loved it too!

Growing up I always wanted to learn to play the piano. Since it wasn't something I could do for one reason or another I have always enjoyed benefiting from the talents of others. Truly piano music lifts my soul. It brings peace when I am troubled.

When I Laughed out Loud...

A quote from my little man:

When asked by grandma if he was going to be a comedian when he grew up he replied quite matter of factually: "Why would anyone want to be a camillian?"

He cracks me up!

Gosh how time flies!!! This summer is running faster than me! I feel like Nothing is getting done, yet every day is filled to the brim! The children have been enjoying the great out doors, and my house shows nothing of the sort. Funny how that works. They have been playing well together though so there aren't any complaints from my position.

We did lanterns for the first time the other night, and the kids loved them. Who would have thought that a lantern could be so much fun! I think it would be fun to talk the whole neighborhood into doing it next year and see if we could light up the sky like in "Tangled" It would be absolutely amazing!

I have avoided writing as of late because I have been feeling a bit pessimistic. I am trying to deal with my feelings an emotions at this time. Eeyore and I could be BFF's these days. I guess this is part of life's great adventure. I am working on coming out on top though, so you might be hearing more of me later. 

On to the Next Adventure, What Shall it be?

It seems we have survived our latest adventure I am pleased to say.  Children are playing and getting into things like they had never been sick. There are squeels of delight, the sound of feet running from room to room, giggling and fighting(I know, not so joyous, but a reality all the same). It sure is nice to have happy, healthy little ones under our roof once again.

Hand, Foot, and Mouth Disease...oh my!

Well, we have come upon a new sort of adventure here in our home as of late. While out visiting family over the Memorial Day weekend, my youngest little guy picked up Hand, Foot and Mouth disease. This is not to be confused with hoof and mouth disease that animals get. My little guy has been pretty much miserable. I have had people ask me about what it is.

Besides it being a disease that quarantines you to your home for 10 days, and is extremely contagious let me tell you what I have learned about it the past couple of days.

It starts out with an extremely high fever. We were able to keep it down with Ibuprofen, and luke warm baths. A day or two later blisters began to appear around my little guys mouth, the bottom of his feet, and palms of his hands. He cried and cried. I took him to the Dr. where we discovered the blisters were covering his throat and inside his mouth. She told me to keep him hydrated, and that is pretty much all I could do for him. So I pretty much held and comforted the boy 2 days straight. He is feeling much better now but has scabs all over his feet, legs, arms, hands and mouth. Ugh.

Last night started round 2 with my little lady. She had the fever and then seemed fine. But last night she woke up with her feet blistering and burning. I gave her some Ibuprofen and put Aloe on her feet, and she was able to sleep the rest of the night through. It has moved to her hands this morning. With that said I guess I will be restarting the clock on when I can rejoin public life to a full-filling level.

*sigh*

Through study of my own, I have found that I need to sterilize binkys daily, wash glasses regularly rather than letting him carry the same sippy cup around all day. And I need to be better at making sure there is less cup, spoon and fork sharing.

I just say to myself: "This too shall pass." And it shall.

Another Lesson on the Atonement

The past couple of weeks have been a roller coaster of emotions for me. No I am not pregnant or PMSing, though I would have preferred that for an excuse. Believe me.

As a parent I feel like I have done all that I can to protect my family from the storms that rage outside our home. It was made apparent to me that I was unsuccessful in one point. I experienced anger, rage, tears, feelings of inadequacy as a parent, I questioned if my life was worth living, because there is surely someone out there that would have done better than me.

While all of these emotions were fresh I was offered a blessing. In the blessing I was assured I was where the Lord would have me, and that He was aware of the situation. I was told that there would be divine justice, and then given other words of comfort.

When the blessing closed I did feel comforted, but still felt many intense feelings that I felt were mine to be felt. A couple of days later as I read my scriptures I was reading where Alma the younger was teaching his rebellious son(who later became an amazing missionary) about the plan of salvation. I was reading where the Lord has consequences assigned to our good and bad deeds, and they are irrevocable. In finishing this Alma told his son not to let that worry him, but rather his sins. He needed to let his sins bring him to humility and unto repentance.

While reading that chapter I realized that the Lord will bless my family. If I stay on coarse and continue to raise my children in that coarse. Where I lack, the Lord will take the slack.

Again today as I was reading about the Nephites being attacked by the Lamanites, and how Captain Moroni was able to protect the people by turning to the living prophet for counsel, I realized something more. The Lord has provided me with all of the tools to rise above the crap the world flings at me. If I utilize these tools not only will I be able to protect myself, but I will be more able to protect my family.

So what are the tools that I speak of? First personal prayer and scripture study. Second I am blessed to live in a day with living prophets upon the earth. If I listen to and study their words I will receive direction and inspiration for my family. Third we have been counseled to have family prayer, scripture study and family home evening. As I make time for these things and apply them it does not reassure that we won't be "attacked". However it will help us to be prepared and give us the strength to stand ground during strong storms.

Through all of this I have found more comfort. I have felt the love the Savior has for me and my family. And while I still have my inadequacies and battles to fight there is comfort in knowing that I have the Savior on my side. That He loves me and wants to help me. That He has felt the things I feel and is willing to help me not only carry my burdens, for they are not mine alone to bear, but He is willing to take them.
I am so thankful for the Savior and His sacrifice. I know that He lives. I am so thankful for the completeness of the Plan of Salvation. I know that I am blessed to live in this day and age. I am grateful to participate in the blessing that come with this. In Christ's name. Amen.

Stumbling Block or Stepping Stone?

Often I hear that our greatest trials can become our greatest blessings. If that be the case, than I have been blessed with a loose tongue. To be quite frank with you I am feeling a little sarcastic in calling it a blessing(very to be exact.)

When I was younger I used to be embarrassed because my mother would have my whole life story out there for everyone to know. Today I find myself being much the same to my utter dismay. And while I look at this I do not see how this can be a blessing, or for that matter become a blessing. It is frustrating to me and I often find myself wishing I was deaf and dumb.

Darndest Things

My kids crack me up! Last night while picking big brother up from scouts my little lady is telling me how nobody spells her nick name right. Then she goes on spelling all of the miss spelled ways in which she has seen so far. Not wanting to be left out of the conversation my little man interrupts:

"Yeah I know! None of my friends can spell my name right either!" He spats out random letters.

I turn to him a little surprised and ask "You learned to spell your name!?"

He replied quite matter of factually, "Well yeah mom, it starts with "S" and then has a lot of letters after that."

Those kids tickle my funny bone!

Observing

My Three year old says the darndest things, and has the darndest perspective...let me share:

"I can hit me dister, she is my wife."

"Mom, when you are a little boy you will understand..."

"I'm going to marry a mom and we will both be moms..." Don't worry we had a discussion after that one.

"When I grow into Mr. Incredible..."

Oh to be a kid again. *sigh* But to be a parent I am able to enjoy it from a different perspective *grin*.

Parenting...or not.

Parenting is never as we imagine it I have decided. I pictured something a little more perfect...HGTV home, Betty Crocker cooking, Leave it to Beaver Children.

From the beginning of my marriage things were on the go. No getting used to anything, or taking it as it came. BAM! Instant 5 children, between the ages of 7 and 22. For a while I told myself it would slow down, we would get into a rhythm...Ha!

Seven years later we are still having adventure after adventure! Some more pleasurable than others. Yet they continue to happen. This season I am trying to swing with the punches. I will admit that grace is not my forte. I am finding however that when I feel like I am about to skin my nose on pavement there have been people strategically placed to help at least soften the fall.

From past experiences I have been left with some raw wounds. Through the atonement I am finding some peace and assistance in bandaging. With that said there are things said at times that sometimes  remind me of those wounds and that there is still a little bit of freshness to them.

Yesterday I called my mom to share some frustrations. My mom is my best friend...other than my hubby of course. However this time as I shared the going-ons of my life she didn't really know what to say. Moments later while picking up some milk I ran into a friend of mine. I am not one to keep things to myself about myself all that well, so as I poured out my frustrations she listened and then when I asked for her opinion she shared with me a perspective I had not even concidered. It has been quite helpful.

So today I want to give a shout out for tender mercies in form of friends, family and the knowledge that Heavenly Father loves this little girl just like he did yesterday.

Gentle Lessons

In church I teach the 8-9 year olds. Everyone of those kids are full of personality! I love teaching them. They come at life from directions I learn from myself. A couple of weeks ago our lesson was on being part of a family and what it means. Each child was asked what it meant do be part of their family. They brought up their traditions, education, chores, etc.

One young lady in my class told us she loves being part of her family because they are laid back on rules. (Know her parents, I had to question what she meant.) She went on to explain that she can dress as immodestly as she wants. To be honest I was taken a back. Her mother is an example to me in so many ways, I wasn't sure what to say, or even how to respond. The rest of the class however told her their thoughts. Some of them weren't gentle about it. Her mother wasn't there that week, and I forgot about the instance after that.

Come forward to this past week. This same young lady told me Sunday she had an announcement. I gave her a moment. She turned to the class and brimming with pride she said: "Just so you all know and in case you haven't noticed, I have dressed modestly since you have all told me what you thought." Then she sat herself down quite saticfied with herself.

Later this week her mother stopped by for something and I shared with her what had happened. She didn't say anything and I thought for sure I had somehow made a major offence. She then called me a little while later and shared this with me: (I apologize it isn't an exact quote...but close)

"The other day when you told me about the discussion with my daughter I started thinking. In the past I have done all that I can to teach her what I feel is most important. I have told her more than once the importance of modesty and have felt it landed on deaf ears. I decided I have done what I can and have had to turn it over to the Lord. It is fun to see how he has used her peers to teach her what I have tried to teach all along. For a couple of weeks I have noticed her begin to point out immodest clothing with a different attitude."

We talked some more and then I started thinking. I looked back on my own life. My mother had tried to teach me so many things, and I was stubborn as a kid  too. Some of my lessons came from unexpected sources. I have read somewhere and I wish I could find the quote*...alas I have not , but I have read that Heavenly Father has not relinquished his rights as a father just because He sent His children to us. He doesn't expect us to do it all on our own. He wants to help us, and who knows us or our children better?  A dear friend of mine once said that Heavenly Father micro manages our lives. I am glad he does, and as a parent I see it more. After I have done all that I can I need to put it in His hands and trust that it is okay. It will be.

I found the quote: "“Never forget that these little ones are the sons and daughters of God and that yours is a custodial relationship to them, that He was a parent before you were parents and that He has not relinquished His parental rights or interest in these little ones...”
(Gordon B. Hinkley, Church News 1 March 1997, 2)

thoughts

I find it funny. I was reading an article today about Mom's and their "nevers". I loved it! The mom listed some of the things she had thought she would never do as a mother, and how being a mother she has realized the reality is quite different from the dream.

While I read her article I though back before children and how I totally related to her. My children were never going to have messy faces, always have clean clothes and be well mannered. Their hair would always be combed and put in ponies or braids. They would never play in the dirt (and who would think of eating it...okay, mine do.) Their bedrooms were going to look like the ones you see on HGTV, as would my house would for that matter. I was going to have cookies baked each afternoon (no wonder Americans are putting on inches...) And every meal was going to be something fancy shmancy like roast and potatoes, or...I don't know but it was all going to be wonderful! Oh and lets not forget that my kids were going to eat healthy darn it!(Isn't that a contradiction with having cookies every afternoon. ahem.)

As hard as I tried reality is my children can be clean if I am willing to do loads of clothes a day, and sometimes they find my chocolate stash and I only notice when I am pulling them out of the car for an appointment. There have been mornings the children have escaped with uncombed hair and I felt I was doing good to have them fed and dressed.

If you were to drop in on me unannounced(even announced these days at times) you will find stacks of laundry on furniture, toys here and there on the floor...even kitchen utensils (thanks to my little monkey) and be prepared, I have been embarrassed after a friend has used the bathroom to find *gasp*undies or a pull-up on the floor along with jammies from the night before. I can't brag about the bedrooms either darn.

With all of this I wouldn't change my kiddos though. I am trying to teach them to pick up after them selves, don't get me wrong. And though it is overwhelming at times to see my littlest getting into all sorts of mischief, I wouldn't trade him for any goldfish in the tank. My little man is just as precious, and I love to see my little lady's creative mind at work. They are going to grow up just as their siblings have and then I will miss this season. I might as well take this moment to enjoy them...while they are small.

Moments Like These

After I posted my last post it was like nature had to try an prove me wrong. Don't get me wrong, I do love being a mom. However there are days I feel like I could just pull my hair out!

I know, really that would accomplish nothing...well, early baldness, and a tender scalp. Really nothing else though. Okay, I might look a little goofy as well.

Sometimes I have to remind myself to take a step back and observe my children instead of live in the moment. When I am able to do this, it makes it just a little bit (or a major lot) easier to appreciate their cleverness, and love their individuality, and enjoy being their mom. Like for example...

When my little man has just been mouthy all day and I tell him he needs to be nice. He informs me it is his job to be naughty...ugh! (I think he stole that line from me, Can I have it copy righted? There are times I tell him "it is my job as a mom to be mean sometimes". For instance when I have to give him a time out, swat his little bum, or give him the look that only a mother can give.)

Or how about the time I wanted to relax and craft, only to find my daughter has all of her things all over the room, and by time I have cleaned a spot the little guy has decided he was done with his nap. (I find out all of the cards she had made are for "her favorite person in the whole world". That person just happens to be me and she has written "I love you" on everyone of them in her best handwriting. May I add she also used her "best" stickers and glitter glue. And embellished with hearts and flowers, some drawings of us hugging...it warms my heart.)

And then there is the moment I just feel like I need to get out for a moment and get a breath of fresh air. The Little guy(the one I am needing a breath from) decides he won't be happy with anyone but me and I have to take him...and his face lights up evey time I pull him out of his car seat, he clings to me and gives the biggest hug. Then as we walk into the store he sits proudly on my arm like I have totally and absolutely made his day as perfect as his day can be.

Those are the moments I hope to cherish forever as a mother.

Being a Mom

Just to put this out there, I really do enjoy being a mom. There are days where I am "in the moment" and I wish my little tykes were a little older (or younger). However when I look at it standing back I really am enjoying it.

The two older girls include me in their going-ons once in a while. I feel special when they do. In reality I enjoy knowing they are okay and it is fun to hear their take on life's adventures. They are each so different from one another, it is fun to see how they view life.

My eldest son who married last spring to his best friend, (and perfect match may I add) will include me in his life a little more often, and I enjoy it. At the most random times I will receive a text suggesting a book I ought to read, or sharing something stumbled upon in his daily adventures. It warms my heart when I see a text coming from this young man.

Our missionary is having his struggles right now. It is funny, when I served a mission was compared to a bed of roses. When you look forward to it you see all of the beautiful blooms and blossoms. As you enter you notice there are thorns and sometimes the thorns are more obvious than the beautiful roses. However, when you leave the mission, you look back, and you notice mostly the beautiful roses. You remember the thorns but appreciate more the roses. (I think motherhood is much like this.)

Our teenage young man is just that. But when he is being "just that" he is the sweetest big brother. It is so much fun to watch him interact with his younger siblings. He is following the example of his older brothers and father. I am truly blessed.

My little princess is quite creative. She absolutely blows me out of the water sometimes with her creations. She can make just about anything out of just about anything. One of her favorite things to do is craft with me. The things she comes up with amaze me!

My little man still loves to cuddle once in a while. I have to admit I still love it. He is stubborn and very clever with the words he uses. He cracks me up all too often and keeps things light when I begin to feel the weight of what ever pressing in.

My little guy is full of mischief...that or curiosity. At any rate he keeps me on my toes from the moment he wakes till the moment his head hits the pillow. He is constantly getting into what ever I may have missed or accidentally left in reach or open.

Mostly I enjoy seeing their unique personalities. I love the hugs I receive here and there. My day has been made many times by either a phone call, text, letter, hug...I can't think of how my life could ever be richer. I love being a mom.

I could not have said this any better...

Joy, or “Just Wait?”

Posted on February 6, 2012

As I wait at Target, a young couple pushes a stroller in the line behind me. The stroller, brand new, appears to be on its maiden voyage. I  peer at the tiny sleeping newborn, his fingers curled up near his ruddy face.

“You guys do good work!” I comment. The parents beam with pride, but the weariness in their eyes lets me know that they are all still in the process of getting to know each other. The lady behind the couple glances at the stroller as well, and asks. “Is this your first?” They nod proudly.  ”Just wait…” she snorts, and then follows with a comment about unruly teenagers.

Inwardly, I wince. We seem to live in a country overrun by a great lot of negative naysayers when it comes to parenting. I remember hearing comments like that when I was a new (and overwhelmed!) mom.  It seemed that many parents were suffering from a chronic case of disappointment and dissatisfaction called ”Just-Wait-itis,” characterized by the inflammation of impending doom in parenthood….I felt trapped in a swirl of know-it-alls who were warning me that the worst was yet to come.

Of course, now that my kids are teenagers, I know the truth. Parenting is complicated; it’s wonderful and challenging. Exhausting and gut wrenching. Heart warming and heart breaking.

And, at the outset, parenting can be utterly daunting. It just doesn’t help when others douse young parents with stories leading to doubt and despair.

Instead, we seasoned moms could infuse joy into our “just waits…” As I regard this weary pair, I think of so many things I could say…

Just wait until your preschool son sees you in the hallway at pick up time and covertly grins and waves to you. (It’s the best flirting in the world.)
Just wait until you watch your kindergartener jump off the bus after that first day, triumphant and tired, melting into your arms.
Just wait until your son is up to bat, and strikes out, holding it together despite disappointment. And just wait until the crack of the bat meeting the ball surprises him and he races to first base…safe.
Just wait until your daughter stands up for a classmate who is struggling, and her peers, humbled, apologize.
Just wait until your child, painfully tethered to tubes and machines in the hospital, whispers, “I just want my mommy.” (and you are suddenly aware that your presence is more powerful than any prescription.)
Just wait until your son gets his very first summer job and he is, unmistakably, walking taller and more confidently as a result.
Just wait until your child’s quick sense of humor makes you double over with laughter.
Just wait until you hear your son invite a friend to church.
Just wait until your daughter receives her first college acceptance and you find yourself overcome with tears…not because she’s leaving, but because she’s ready.

The baby in the stroller whimpers, breaking my reverie.
I smile at the couple and look them straight in the eye.
“You have so much joy ahead of you…” I remark…
“Just wait.”

Wishing you joy today~
Katie

katiewetherbee.wordpress.com/2012/02/06/joy-or-just-wait/

Windows

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=dbFiB7oiQs4

How many times I have been this woman. Being humbled hurts sometimes.

Reflections

Life presents us with different things, stumbling blocks that can be turned to stepping stones. Friends, family and individuals who help shape and mold us into the desired potential that God sees in us. Only We have to let him and be willing to have His assistance.

Looking back at when I was a kid I have two stories that make this point. When I was about 7 or 8 I had a favorite outfit. My pants were polyester and red and my shirt was pink with white and gray seagulls on the front. The minute this out fit came out of the dryer I would trow it on. My dear mother tried to tell me as kindly as she could that I ought to ware a different top, or, hey! These jeans would look cute with that shirt! No matter, I loved the combo and ignored her suggestions.

On one particular day I was playing with a cousin I looked up too and admired. I still do. On this day I remember her saying; "What would posses you to put that outfit together? It is the ugliest thing I have ever seen! Red and pink do not go together." She was right! why had I not noticed this before? After that My mother was a bit more knowing when it came to dress as well.

All growing up I had a crush on this young man. He knew the scriptures forward and backwards, inside and out. Because he was so knowledgeable I felt this deep need to be better than him at scripture chases, and such. Because of that desire I tried to read the Bible when I turned 8(some of the words threw me for a loop). I studied the scriptures for primary activities and later seminary just so I wouldn't be shown up by this boy. It became almost a competition for me. Thanks to knowing this boy I grew to love the scriptures, the Savior and His gospel. I have a lot to thank him for. Our Senior year of high school he thanked me for being the example and wished that he could have been a greater one for me.

There continue to be people who influence my life. I am thankful for them and the many I have yet to meet.

Money

Money. Who wants it? Everyone, it seems like no matter how much we have though it never seems to be enough. As I was pondering about this topic this morning, I thought "You can buy anything with money." But then I began to think on that and realized what an untruth that is.

Here are things I thought of you can not buy with money:

Another's trust. It can't be purchased with money, it can only be gained through one's actions and it is fragile.

Another's love. True love, pure love is not purchased with money. It is purchased with serving, being there when others leave, simply being a stable and trusted being. I realize that affection can be purchased, but as easily as it is purchased, it is thrown away. That is where individuals begin to lose sight of their true self worth...one of Satan's greatest tools.

Character. This is once again something built up over periods of time, and can easily be destroyed.

With money you can buy armies to destroy, even people. However money does not take away others identities with God. It can not buy you into heaven. It can not buy true happiness, only temporal pleasure. Money can not change any truth. These are just a few of my thoughts this morning.

Just Another Day...and LIfe is Good!

I am getting SO excited! A friend of mine has helped me organize my craft room and I am stoked to start creating! Yesterday I did my first mini project. My little guy decided to tear several of my shelves apart for me. That was a little disheartening. I guess we will have to do things during nap time for a while, or when Dad is home and I can close a door somewhere. Or, if I can find one of those expandable child-gates somewhere...I might be onto something!

Also, my little man has decided he is ready to potty train!!!(Loud aplause and cheers are more than welcome to hear!) This Mama is a happy mama! *wink* He is more on top of it than his sister...who by the way is doing better and will someday have it perfected I am possitive! Through an experience of his own, he has decided it is a good idea to wear* pull-ups to bed.(There is a little story to go with that I will share at the end if you would like to read it, if not, feel free to skip it!) Thank you very much!

And, last but not least, I am beginning to get ontop of my game here on the home front! My house is nowhere close to picture perfect. However I discovered this week I do indeed have counters in my kitchen! Under all of those reminders of having children there is carpet in more than one room of my house! Did you know if you do only a load of dishes a day it looks like you might know how to play this mom game after all? It is true! I have been feeling like I am sighing a huge sigh of relief this week! And I have to thatnk my Husband, and Friend for their help...THANK YOU!!!

* So the story of deciding its alright to wear Pull-ups after all...He wet the bed in his undies. When I asked him to bring me his bedding  I heard hims say under his breath and a little more sarcasm than I would have liked (grin) "I love you Ms. Hanigan!" this boy warms my heart! I love being a mom...even with those days.