My father called me today. He is his return home from visiting my grandmother. The visit has been an emotional one for him. He went out because he was told she may not be a round much more than a month or two. That month or two has changed and turned out to be less. Today they have put her in hospice. They are expecting she wont last through the evening.
With this I am thankful for my religeon. However, it doesnt change the heavy heart. I know I will see her again, that she is going on to better places, that she will be able to check in on me any time she wants.
This doesn't change that I wish I could have seen her one more time. I wish I could be there to comfort my Dad. I wish my whole family was a little bit closer right now. Thats all.
Tuesday, October 25, 2011
Wednesday, October 19, 2011
Warm Fuzzies
My little man came in the other day when I was having a tough day. He had a huge smile and handed me this rock.
"A rock" I thought. "Yippy!"
Then he said: "Look at the rock mom, it is shaped like a heart, this is how much I love you!"
My heart melted right then.
Saturday, October 15, 2011
I have a confession! I absolutely love this commercial! I could watch it over and over again! The two men look content and at ease in doing their thing. Funny thing, I thought they were guys from our era. By now you are all laughing, because you probably already knew what I just discovered. This was originality staged in 1960. I guess I crush on older guys...LOL!!! Today's technology amazes me.
I think it is because they are clean cut and confident. Their smiles are icing to that cake. Did I mention I could just watch this over and over again?
I think it is because they are clean cut and confident. Their smiles are icing to that cake. Did I mention I could just watch this over and over again?
Thursday, October 6, 2011
Can it really weigh that much?
So yesterday I was looking at my kitchen and broke down. We have a ceiling fan in ours (who ever came up with that should be tared and feathered...just so you know.) The fan flings greasy dust all over my cupboards, ceiling, and the overhang above my cupboards. With a little one on the loose I rarely find the time to just get the basics done...and so I decided yesterday clingy baby or not I had to clean!
I had only noticed how bad my ceiling was first. I pulled out the vacuum about a week ago and tried to suck up all the scum I could! That is when I noticed the over hang. Ugh. That over hang hung on my shoulders FOR-EV-ER! I just kept thinking: "The minute I climb up there the baby is going to start screaming and..." well, it never got done.
Yesterday I threw in the towel! I climbed up there and began to wipe things down. That is when I noticed the cupboards and fan blades(What!?! I had just cleaned those a...over a month ago...dang.) Eww! It grossed me out. Did you know that the top of my fan motor isn't fuzzy grey? Who would have known. Certainly not I, but you know what? That scrubbing paid off. Dawn dish soap has become my best friend for yet another reason! The fan motor is brass!!!(I have to change that some day, I'm not a brass fan) My cupboards shine like new, and the light...it bounces off the ceiling again! WOW!
So when all was said and done I decided to take my mama-van through the car wash (I realized it hadn't had a real bath since last summer...oops!) and today it rained...HA!
I feel like my kitchen weighs tons less, my car looks good from the street and I can take a breath...through the whole thing, the baby didn't make a peep. Nice.
I had only noticed how bad my ceiling was first. I pulled out the vacuum about a week ago and tried to suck up all the scum I could! That is when I noticed the over hang. Ugh. That over hang hung on my shoulders FOR-EV-ER! I just kept thinking: "The minute I climb up there the baby is going to start screaming and..." well, it never got done.
Yesterday I threw in the towel! I climbed up there and began to wipe things down. That is when I noticed the cupboards and fan blades(What!?! I had just cleaned those a...over a month ago...dang.) Eww! It grossed me out. Did you know that the top of my fan motor isn't fuzzy grey? Who would have known. Certainly not I, but you know what? That scrubbing paid off. Dawn dish soap has become my best friend for yet another reason! The fan motor is brass!!!(I have to change that some day, I'm not a brass fan) My cupboards shine like new, and the light...it bounces off the ceiling again! WOW!
So when all was said and done I decided to take my mama-van through the car wash (I realized it hadn't had a real bath since last summer...oops!) and today it rained...HA!
I feel like my kitchen weighs tons less, my car looks good from the street and I can take a breath...through the whole thing, the baby didn't make a peep. Nice.
Sunday, October 2, 2011
Seasons
This past week my father called me to let me know my grandmother's health is deteriorating. Last August the Dr.s gave her a year to live. She has prooved that theory wrong, but through the year she has had increasing heart problems.
This past week she had a check up to see how the little engine of hers was running. When my father had called her she told him everything was going well and she was fine. Later he was talking to my uncle who is out there with her and his story was different.
The upper valve to her heart has ceased to work. The lower valve to her heart is working. Her heart is shutting down...slowly. My uncle informed my father that she doesn't go far when she finds herself out of breath and because of the poor circulation her hands and feet feel like ice. The Dr's have been impressed with her however because most people her age and condition would be in hospice by now. However she is still doing things for herself, be it knitting, making it to the ladies room, or just some basic things us whipper snappers take for granite.
My father is going to try and go out and see her before she leaves us. I might try to do the same...I don't know though. I would need to take my little ones and I don't know if that would be over whelming for her or not. I was thinking it would be fun for my children to have a last picture with her if nothing more than for memories.
Both of my grandfathers have passed on, and I have no pictures of my own of them. I have memories. My maternal grandfather was a step-grandfather, he was a carpenter. I have memories of him sneaking me into his shop and letting me hammer away on wood and nails. I remember him humoring me and cutting out the outline for a doll(Imyself had designed), and then letting me glue wood chips for hair. He left me a dresser, and toy chest and a cedar chest. Others memories fill my mind of him climbing a tall ladder with me on his shoulder. He would place me on a high branch, letting me pick cherries to my little hearts content then when I called he would come and carry me down the ladder with my cherry stained fingers and face.
My father's father didn't leave me with as many memories. However, near his death I remember being by his side. The look of a frightened child was on his face when he realized that his life was drawing to a close. I remember telling him there were other people on the other side awaiting him, to welcome him. This seemed to give him some comfort, and a couple of days later he joined those on the other side.
This life is so fragile. I think it is so easy for each of us to get caught up in being alive and the moment of living that we sometimes forget how temporal it is. Then there are times we are reminded how temporal it is and we sometimes forget this is only the beginning, for our spirits, our souls it is only a season. These are a few of my thoughts this evening.
This past week she had a check up to see how the little engine of hers was running. When my father had called her she told him everything was going well and she was fine. Later he was talking to my uncle who is out there with her and his story was different.
The upper valve to her heart has ceased to work. The lower valve to her heart is working. Her heart is shutting down...slowly. My uncle informed my father that she doesn't go far when she finds herself out of breath and because of the poor circulation her hands and feet feel like ice. The Dr's have been impressed with her however because most people her age and condition would be in hospice by now. However she is still doing things for herself, be it knitting, making it to the ladies room, or just some basic things us whipper snappers take for granite.
My father is going to try and go out and see her before she leaves us. I might try to do the same...I don't know though. I would need to take my little ones and I don't know if that would be over whelming for her or not. I was thinking it would be fun for my children to have a last picture with her if nothing more than for memories.
Both of my grandfathers have passed on, and I have no pictures of my own of them. I have memories. My maternal grandfather was a step-grandfather, he was a carpenter. I have memories of him sneaking me into his shop and letting me hammer away on wood and nails. I remember him humoring me and cutting out the outline for a doll(Imyself had designed), and then letting me glue wood chips for hair. He left me a dresser, and toy chest and a cedar chest. Others memories fill my mind of him climbing a tall ladder with me on his shoulder. He would place me on a high branch, letting me pick cherries to my little hearts content then when I called he would come and carry me down the ladder with my cherry stained fingers and face.
My father's father didn't leave me with as many memories. However, near his death I remember being by his side. The look of a frightened child was on his face when he realized that his life was drawing to a close. I remember telling him there were other people on the other side awaiting him, to welcome him. This seemed to give him some comfort, and a couple of days later he joined those on the other side.
This life is so fragile. I think it is so easy for each of us to get caught up in being alive and the moment of living that we sometimes forget how temporal it is. Then there are times we are reminded how temporal it is and we sometimes forget this is only the beginning, for our spirits, our souls it is only a season. These are a few of my thoughts this evening.
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