Learning, Line Upon Line, Precept upon Precept...

A couple of weeks ago I was beginning to feel a great amount of anxiety. Looking at the world at large was too much for me. I was beginning to be paralyzed with this anxiety, it was winning and I wasn't. The news is all pretty much doom and gloom, I opened facebook and it was all about politics which at the moment feels like more doom and gloom to me. I felt like I was being swallowed and fighting a losing battle. I was losing faith and hope.

I asked my husband for a blessing. I wasn't sure what to expect. Chastisement maybe for a lack in faith, maybe a reprimand for not walking the talk. I felt like I was simply going through the motions be it prayer, scripture study, parenting, being a spouse, pretty much every aspect of my life.

When I received the blessing not much was said. However, Heavenly Father told me he would like for me to pray to him more and put more trust in him. Later through some of my scripture study and reading conference issues He has been is teaching me that prayer is my greatest tool right now. Prayer is my greatest weapon in this battle called life.

In Alma chapter two when Amlici is trying to become king it is alarming to the righteous! Alma instructs the righteous to pray. The Lord hears their prayers and for their faith he strengthens them so they can defend their freedom, and their families. Through that strength they are able to beat back against unimaginable odds. (There is story after story much like this as I have read the scriptures.)

Jeffery R. Holland while speaking to the youth, but I think all, in this last October conference said: "Love God and remain free from the blood and sins of this generation. You have a monumental work to do...your Father in Heaven expects your loyalty and your love at every stage of your life." In reading this I realized I need to work on being loyal. I know The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the true church. I know Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us, he knows each of us and cares for each of us. However I was losing faith in His plan. There is no reason I should, Christ has already done His part, He continues to do His part. My part is all that is left.

So, while I still have a long ways to go, My hope and faith has been renewed. I have a lot to work on.

New Year's Resolutions

With the new year I have been thinking of things I can do better. I could make a long list, but have decided instead to think of what is most important to me on that list and tackle it. So here are the things I have come up with. I know it is a little late... better late than never...:

1.  I need to have a better relationship with my Father. Somehow in the past couple of years I have  
        become very casual. I need to take time to share what I am really feeling and thinking. And then
        I need need to actually take time to listen to counsel, and direction. I am not in this alone, nor
        need I be.

2.  I need to stay focused on my goal to lose weight, and become healthier. I am happier and feel
        better in so many degrees when I am doing this. Plus, I will be able to enjoy life more entirely.

3.  I need to be a better wife and mother. By this I mean I need to spend my time more wisely. When
        the day comes to a close I want there to be no doubt in any one's mind whether I love them or
        not.

My list consists of many other things, but these are the things I can start changing now. They are things I need to change now. The other things will be worked on as well, but I want to look back on this post and remind myself what I need to do and hope that through out the year I can look back and see progress.

I hope each of you have had a Merry Christmas and a wonderful New Year!