This entry is going to be a little different from the ones I have posted recently. During my work outs lately instead of grabbing a gossip magazine I have decided to take one of my own magazines. This way I am reading something I otherwise may not make time to do. On my way out the other day I just snatched the first magazine I saw and was out the door.
While walking on the treadmill I opened to this article: How Disciples of Christ live in Times of War and Violence. It is interesting to me that I turned to this. Everywhere we turn we hear of the world falling apart. One looks at the news and you see devastation after devastation. There are those out there who have little or no value on human life. Others are out there claiming the world owes them everything and have done nothing to earn what they claim. People berate and judge each other and think nothing to tear another to pieces. Abuse runs ramped in all forms be it physical, psychological, sexual, mental, verbal...this list is endless, and many times over whelming.
The other night as my husband and I readied ourselves for bed I asked him: "Do you ever worry about what the future holds for our children?" After thinking for only a moment his reply was sincere and simple. He said: "No, because Heavenly Father is in control."When he first responded I was frustrated that I didn't show the same faith. (Sometimes I think I get more caught up in the moment and forget to have my eternal perspective.)
Yesterday as I read the article above it helped me to understand more what he meant. I know he has the same worries I do, we want each of our children to marry their best friend, and to be smart, funny and all that, but the most important thing we can want for them is to know who they are. I believe that when we know who we are it is easier to understand what the Lord has planned for us on an individual basis. Okay maybe understand is the wrong word. How about trust instead. It is easier to trust that the Lord is keenly aware of each of us, and has a plan for each of us. When we realize he is in control and we trust he has our best interest at heart, it is easier to follow the examples put before us, be it through scriptures, journals, or family.
As I read the article above I was reminded of how Father in Heaven has cared for his children in the past. I don't think I have even become to grasp what He is trying to teach me this year. In the beginning of the year I was invited to make an effort to read The Book of Mormon again. Each chapter I read I felt the love the Lord has for his children. Those children who love him and allow themselves to be his instruments weren't always spared hardship. In fact rarely that was the case. However, every time they turned to Him, they were offered comfort, peace of mind, they were made strong, and though some of them were brutally killed, abused, and miss treated, they received the reward for their faith and enduring to the end. We have received the same promise. He never told us that this life would be "comfortable". But I believe that as we go through life and scrape our knees, or have others wound us that he can heal us and help us grow if we but let him.
Sometimes I get overwhelmed by all I see in the news. I feel so blessed to be married to my best friend. My husband, he compliments me in so many ways. I am thankful for our church leaders, I know they are called of God, and I am looking forward to hearing from them here next weekend. They are inspired men. I know God loves each of His children. I am thankful for the Savior and his following through with his promise to us. There truly are things to be grateful for. Amen.
Wednesday, September 26, 2012
While at the gym today I came across this article: Loving My Enemies. As I read this article I realized I do not have enemies like the author of this article. However I have had people come into my life at one time or another with whom I have struggled with. I have mentioned some about this in the past.
From time to time I question if I have truly forgiven those who have placed an offense in my bucket. (I have to admit, my bucket has been feeling heavier than I would like lately.) We are told in the scriptures that we must forgive if we are to be forgiven ourselves. Yet while talking to a friend the other night I realized I have not entirely forgiven those who have cast stones. Believe me, like everyone else I have plenty of reasons to "be careful". I have come to not trust some. While I have felt that is okay(when you learn a hot coal is going to burn you it doesn't mean you go out of your way to pick it up again. It is okay to warn others that it is hot, but I am learning that maybe I don't have to go into all of the details in how I discovered this coal is hot. Nor do I need to explain why I am avoiding it, once I have warned others I should not have to justify. They can learn for themselves. Many times all they need to do is observe for themselves and they will see it too.)
I guess in reading this article I realized that it is not always necessary put yourself out there to be burned again, but it is important to love. I was listening to a talk by Sheri Dew a while back and she made the point that we shouldn't talk about things we don't know entirely about. While we can't understand everything the Lord can help us with our short comings. If we are humble he can help us learn to love those we think are un-lovable. I am finding that more than anything I need His help in this area. Other wise I an going to become a bitter person, which I don't want. But it is like He has said He can't help us unless we ask. I mean look at Nephi when he broke his bow, if he hadn't done something himself he could have quite possibly died and what good would that have done for us? Not much. Or the brother of Jared, if he hadn't done his part the Lord may not have done anything for them to have light.
Even if the offenders never ask for forgiveness, and continue to offend I need to turn to the Savior and ask for his help to love them as he does. More likely than not I don't know everything( okay, I know I don't know everything.) Therefore if I want to be forgiven I must too forgive and learn to love as the Lord loves. It is true I have a lot more to learn. Thanks you for your time. Until next time, Tchao-zinho.
From time to time I question if I have truly forgiven those who have placed an offense in my bucket. (I have to admit, my bucket has been feeling heavier than I would like lately.) We are told in the scriptures that we must forgive if we are to be forgiven ourselves. Yet while talking to a friend the other night I realized I have not entirely forgiven those who have cast stones. Believe me, like everyone else I have plenty of reasons to "be careful". I have come to not trust some. While I have felt that is okay(when you learn a hot coal is going to burn you it doesn't mean you go out of your way to pick it up again. It is okay to warn others that it is hot, but I am learning that maybe I don't have to go into all of the details in how I discovered this coal is hot. Nor do I need to explain why I am avoiding it, once I have warned others I should not have to justify. They can learn for themselves. Many times all they need to do is observe for themselves and they will see it too.)
I guess in reading this article I realized that it is not always necessary put yourself out there to be burned again, but it is important to love. I was listening to a talk by Sheri Dew a while back and she made the point that we shouldn't talk about things we don't know entirely about. While we can't understand everything the Lord can help us with our short comings. If we are humble he can help us learn to love those we think are un-lovable. I am finding that more than anything I need His help in this area. Other wise I an going to become a bitter person, which I don't want. But it is like He has said He can't help us unless we ask. I mean look at Nephi when he broke his bow, if he hadn't done something himself he could have quite possibly died and what good would that have done for us? Not much. Or the brother of Jared, if he hadn't done his part the Lord may not have done anything for them to have light.
Even if the offenders never ask for forgiveness, and continue to offend I need to turn to the Savior and ask for his help to love them as he does. More likely than not I don't know everything( okay, I know I don't know everything.) Therefore if I want to be forgiven I must too forgive and learn to love as the Lord loves. It is true I have a lot more to learn. Thanks you for your time. Until next time, Tchao-zinho.
Sunday, September 23, 2012
Pests
Ugh! It is almost three in the morning. Less than an hour ago I awoke to the sound of chewing. If you have ever had mice you know what I am talking about. As a girl I had pet gerbils, and two pet rats. Now I have mice. Again. Only this time they are not contained, and they are not welcome.
A couple of weeks ago we saw signs of them in our pantry. My hubby was quick to set traps and we caught 3 in the first four days. But since then when the traps have been checked the peanut butter has been meticulously cleaned from the trap, and the traps are still waiting to spring. It is like the mice waving their little tails at me as if to say"neener, neener" and to night I actually watched it run across our hangers!
These varmint are unwelcome little guest. As I type this, my husband just flushed one down the toilet, so that make 4 down now...how many more of these buggers to go? I want to rid my house of this...ugh! I feel like I could vomit at the moment, and am not sure what we can do. We have set traps, laid out poison, but we have to be careful with that because of little ones. Plus we have bought those sonic sound things! I wish I was not allergic to cats. Believe me the thought of becoming a cat woman has crossed my mind.
A couple of weeks ago we saw signs of them in our pantry. My hubby was quick to set traps and we caught 3 in the first four days. But since then when the traps have been checked the peanut butter has been meticulously cleaned from the trap, and the traps are still waiting to spring. It is like the mice waving their little tails at me as if to say"neener, neener" and to night I actually watched it run across our hangers!
These varmint are unwelcome little guest. As I type this, my husband just flushed one down the toilet, so that make 4 down now...how many more of these buggers to go? I want to rid my house of this...ugh! I feel like I could vomit at the moment, and am not sure what we can do. We have set traps, laid out poison, but we have to be careful with that because of little ones. Plus we have bought those sonic sound things! I wish I was not allergic to cats. Believe me the thought of becoming a cat woman has crossed my mind.
Tuesday, September 18, 2012
Let's try this Agian.
The past two and a half days have been thumbs down in the eating department. Seriously. As soon as I wrote my last entry I ate ----girl scout cookies. If I had stuck to four I would have been with in my calorie count, but I didn't instead I ate my little heart out, and to be honest, I didn't even enjoy it. Then yesterday we went to a friends restaurant....buffet at that. I only had one plate, but he makes comfort food, mashed potatoes, fried chicken and then of course a complimentary bowl of ice cream...lunch took up pretty much my whole daily caloric intake allotment, then there is dinner and the FHE treat, so, a hundred million calories later... And then there is today. I made the mistake of buying my littlest a bag of gold fish. they only have 3 calories a fish, but the problem is, you eat a handful of those and have the munchies the rest of the day..."Oh, poop!"...and little self control on my side today. *ugh*
Lets just say I am glad tomorrow is another day. I am not buying any goodies for the kiddos. And I am calling in the self-control brain sells. Wish me luck. And we are off!
Lets just say I am glad tomorrow is another day. I am not buying any goodies for the kiddos. And I am calling in the self-control brain sells. Wish me luck. And we are off!
Sunday, September 16, 2012
Silver Lining
Well, after my last depressing entry I decided to do my measurements. When beginning this new way of life I was told by a friend of mine I ought to do my measurements, because that is sometimes where you see the changes first, not so much on the scale. After comparing from last month, I have to say I am duly impressed with the results, even though they are small, they are there.
On my waist I have lost two inches, hips one and three quarters. In my upper arms, one inch and three quarters. Thighs, one and a quarter. Calves I have actually gained a little less than an inch, and my bust I have lost two and seven eighths. (No wonder I looked more pear shaped than I remembered when I looked in the mirror the other day.)
Lately I have noticed it isn't as desirable to snack as much, especially in the area of chocolate. I just don't feel like those empty calories are worth it. A while ago I read it takes 2 laps of a football field just to burn one m&m....ouch! Do I really want to do that, or more importantly can I? At this point the answer is "nope, not a chance" so that being said it has been my motivation in the department of chocolate. I used to justify it because I would only eat "dark" chocolate for the anti-oxidants...or what ever. But here is the deal, you can eat a ton more blue berries, drink all the pomegranate juice you want (which also contain anti oxidants) and not even begin to reach the calories you get from only 1/4 cup of m&m's. By golly, you can even make some great shakes and add more nutrients and I figure you are spending the same money wise (I mean look how the price of chocolate has gone up just in the past year...believe me I know), but also feeling better after and it's pretty much guilt free. I know I am sounding weird to myself as well, but it is great! This health logic is beginning to be a part of me.
So you might be curious to if I have seen a difference in my weight. This past month I have lost about six pounds. I know that is small. I am okay with that, as long as I am becoming healthier and feeling better I am A-okay with it, because I know in a year, others might be noticing, and even if they don't I will. Who knows, there may be another girl in kick boxing looking at her legs and thinking she is the one with stumps, and I will be able to tell her to hang in there and she will reach her goals.
On my waist I have lost two inches, hips one and three quarters. In my upper arms, one inch and three quarters. Thighs, one and a quarter. Calves I have actually gained a little less than an inch, and my bust I have lost two and seven eighths. (No wonder I looked more pear shaped than I remembered when I looked in the mirror the other day.)
Lately I have noticed it isn't as desirable to snack as much, especially in the area of chocolate. I just don't feel like those empty calories are worth it. A while ago I read it takes 2 laps of a football field just to burn one m&m....ouch! Do I really want to do that, or more importantly can I? At this point the answer is "nope, not a chance" so that being said it has been my motivation in the department of chocolate. I used to justify it because I would only eat "dark" chocolate for the anti-oxidants...or what ever. But here is the deal, you can eat a ton more blue berries, drink all the pomegranate juice you want (which also contain anti oxidants) and not even begin to reach the calories you get from only 1/4 cup of m&m's. By golly, you can even make some great shakes and add more nutrients and I figure you are spending the same money wise (I mean look how the price of chocolate has gone up just in the past year...believe me I know), but also feeling better after and it's pretty much guilt free. I know I am sounding weird to myself as well, but it is great! This health logic is beginning to be a part of me.
So you might be curious to if I have seen a difference in my weight. This past month I have lost about six pounds. I know that is small. I am okay with that, as long as I am becoming healthier and feeling better I am A-okay with it, because I know in a year, others might be noticing, and even if they don't I will. Who knows, there may be another girl in kick boxing looking at her legs and thinking she is the one with stumps, and I will be able to tell her to hang in there and she will reach her goals.
Friday, September 14, 2012
Warning: Rant Session.
Consider yourself warned. So, I went to the gym today. I had planned that I would swim laps for an hour. I was stoked, back in the day(in college) I loved swimming laps! My room mates mom taught me how to do it correctly and I just loved the way I felt when all was said and done.
I hopped into the pool feeling pumped and ready to go, but half way through the second lap I felt like I could just die! Seriously, who said life could catch up to me like this? Earlier on in the week I went to do a kick boxing class. I made it only 15 min. before I had to quit. Catching my breath was really not going so good. Besides, every time I looked in the mirror I saw these other ladies with dainty ankles, and thin legs. When I looked at me I could see things jiggling, I feel like my legs look like elephant leg stumps that have been through a major hail storm...which is entirely possible out here(no offense to elephants, it looks good on them, but I am having a hard time pulling it off.) So I bowed out and went to the treadmill instead. Today once again I had to take a bow and joined the Senior ladies and they did their winding down stretches. Once I was able to catch my breath again I went and did 5 more laps.
The most frustrating thing about this whole thing is, 20 years ago I could decide I was going to do something and do it. Today I want to do something and I am giving my whole effort, and then a lung, an arm, leg, almost my life. People have warned me of this, that age does strange things to us. I wish I had listened more carefully. I am going to get myself so I can do what I want again, and I plan on persevering, but it stinks that I haven't taken better care of myself. It stinks to look in the mirror and see where age has taken me, though some of it I have rightfully earned through giving life to 3 precious children. There is hope though. I know if I keep things up I am going to be feeling better, and even if the elephant legs with hail damage remain I will be setting an example for my kiddos, and like I said I will be feeling better as well.
I hopped into the pool feeling pumped and ready to go, but half way through the second lap I felt like I could just die! Seriously, who said life could catch up to me like this? Earlier on in the week I went to do a kick boxing class. I made it only 15 min. before I had to quit. Catching my breath was really not going so good. Besides, every time I looked in the mirror I saw these other ladies with dainty ankles, and thin legs. When I looked at me I could see things jiggling, I feel like my legs look like elephant leg stumps that have been through a major hail storm...which is entirely possible out here(no offense to elephants, it looks good on them, but I am having a hard time pulling it off.) So I bowed out and went to the treadmill instead. Today once again I had to take a bow and joined the Senior ladies and they did their winding down stretches. Once I was able to catch my breath again I went and did 5 more laps.
The most frustrating thing about this whole thing is, 20 years ago I could decide I was going to do something and do it. Today I want to do something and I am giving my whole effort, and then a lung, an arm, leg, almost my life. People have warned me of this, that age does strange things to us. I wish I had listened more carefully. I am going to get myself so I can do what I want again, and I plan on persevering, but it stinks that I haven't taken better care of myself. It stinks to look in the mirror and see where age has taken me, though some of it I have rightfully earned through giving life to 3 precious children. There is hope though. I know if I keep things up I am going to be feeling better, and even if the elephant legs with hail damage remain I will be setting an example for my kiddos, and like I said I will be feeling better as well.
Monday, September 10, 2012
Where I feel Like Pulling out my Hair
This past week and this one are on my hit list. It seems since I have returned home, my little lady has decided she need make no effort for using the bathroom. She doesn't seem to have any problem with sitting in her mess either...for extended periods of time. How do I take care of this? I have tried a sticker chart, she cleans her own messes, we have tried earning privileges, losing privileges and I am feeling at wits end...*sigh*
Starting yesterday my littlest guy has decided he want to be a bully. He has started pushing and hitting, and today he was just taking toys from other little kids. When I returned to pick him up from a child watch at the gym, they informed me he had had two time outs. *ugh*
I love being a mother, I do, there are just those moments that keep me perplexed and frustrated. Thanks for the ear.
Starting yesterday my littlest guy has decided he want to be a bully. He has started pushing and hitting, and today he was just taking toys from other little kids. When I returned to pick him up from a child watch at the gym, they informed me he had had two time outs. *ugh*
I love being a mother, I do, there are just those moments that keep me perplexed and frustrated. Thanks for the ear.
Wednesday, September 5, 2012
Monday, September 3, 2012
Home Coming
Last week I was out west. While out there, I had the opportunity to spend time with some of my family and friends. I loved it! However, I missed my hubby and chillins. It was great walking in the door and knowing my own bed wasn't far.
In returning home the other night I walked into see a beautifully bright colored poster that my children had painted for me to welcome me home. It had their hand prints, and stick figures along with flowers. It was a warm fuzzy. With it being late all but my pre-schooler and hubby were in bed and fast asleep.
As I was getting settled I noticed sticky notes in miscellaneous places: the fridge, light switches, the piano, cup boards, the bathroom etc. Assuming that our young man might be taking a foreign language and had done this I didn't think a whole lot about it. However, yesterday as I went to turn on a light I noticed the sticky note read: "lady bug" then I noticed that others had random words written by my first grader. Questioning the purpose of the stickers, my brilliant little girl said in great enthusiasm: "Mom! I decided to make my own word search! I put words and pictures all around the house, here is the deal, if you find a word you gut one point, if you find a picture you get ten points." See, I told you she is brilliant.
I love watching my children grow up. It is a privilege I wouldn't exchange for any other. Seeing them explore and interpret their surroundings is an adventure.
In returning home the other night I walked into see a beautifully bright colored poster that my children had painted for me to welcome me home. It had their hand prints, and stick figures along with flowers. It was a warm fuzzy. With it being late all but my pre-schooler and hubby were in bed and fast asleep.
As I was getting settled I noticed sticky notes in miscellaneous places: the fridge, light switches, the piano, cup boards, the bathroom etc. Assuming that our young man might be taking a foreign language and had done this I didn't think a whole lot about it. However, yesterday as I went to turn on a light I noticed the sticky note read: "lady bug" then I noticed that others had random words written by my first grader. Questioning the purpose of the stickers, my brilliant little girl said in great enthusiasm: "Mom! I decided to make my own word search! I put words and pictures all around the house, here is the deal, if you find a word you gut one point, if you find a picture you get ten points." See, I told you she is brilliant.
I love watching my children grow up. It is a privilege I wouldn't exchange for any other. Seeing them explore and interpret their surroundings is an adventure.
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