Recently I have had an experience that didn't go at all as planned. When It happened I hurt someone dear to me. I have had a lot of mixed emotions as it all went down. I hated myself. I have said things with this pregnancy that I would normally keep to myself of let pass. After things went down I was upset, I hadn't intended for it to happen the way it did, hurt, angry, glad to have it off my chest, sad at the repercussions...mainly it has been a bit more painful than I would have liked.
I had asked for a blessing from someone unaware of the situation. Mainly this was for the fact that they would have to be directed by the spirit. I felt justified, but didn't want to be the person I was. In the blessing I was told that Heavenly Father was aware of both sides to the story. He was aware of my thoughts and intent. I was instructed to be prayerful and things would be healed in a loving manner and over time.
When I heard about the part of him knowing my heart and intent this scared me to death. My thoughts after it had happened had been all but Christ like. But I had this thought come to me this morning as I was thinking over the past couple of weeks. He has known me and those involved for all of our lives. He knew I wasn't going to do everything perfectly. He also knows how I have felt before things played out, during and how I am feeling now. He cares for me and the individuals the same. Because He knows each of his children He places us in situations that can help us grow(even if that growth is m ore painful than we feel we can bare).
I am glad He knows my heart. I am glad he knows the heart of other individuals. I am glad He is my final judge. And I am glad that his plan is so complete that He can help me out of even the biggest pickles I get myself into. I really couldn't ask for a better more perfect parent. I am glad he doesn't have the limited view I have. I am glad he allows me to hurt. And that when I turn to take his hand it is there.
I don't really know the details of what you are writing about but some of what you said fits with a situation I am dealing with right now. Sometimes it can be so hard to know what is the right thing because one things just doesn't sit right personally and yet another choice inevitably hurts others and a possible third choice hurts yet another. It just seems like there is a lot of hurting in this life. And when you have to choose it is a great comfort to know that God knows our hearts and the intentions behind every act. It is a comfort also to know that God knows and loves the others involved and that hurt can be healed. I can't imagine what life would be like if I did not know that God is my father and that Jesus Christ died so that I could learn from my mistakes and become better.
ReplyDeleteThank you Sharyn! It is so comforting as I come to understand the Plan of Salvation a bit more each time. It is so complete.
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