Monday I talked to my sister-in-law. She is heart broken. My brother has left her. I was shocked. Blown away to be for sure. My life story is becoming more and more complicated. What I used to see as black and white is becoming smeared and smudged. People are all shades of gray. God is who paints the colors. Wounds turn to scars...over time. The scar remains to remind us of past pain and shows us we have prevailed and endured the pain. Not necessarily with grace, and certainly not with out feeling. (Oh to feel...)
Some scars are on the surface for others to see. Some are hidden. Others are seen as beauty marks instead of blemishes. Some scars are light, and others dark and ugly. Some scars remind of past choices and mistakes. Yet others are from the choices and actions of others. It doesn't diminish the pain felt in the moment.
Speaking of moments. Moments are crazy things. One moment you are flying on top of the world. The next moment you have face planted. If you believe in God you know He is there to lift you and help you brush off...if you ask for His help. One moment you believe there is something more out there, and the next moment you feel left alone, with no where to turn, no one who can understand. We cherish some moments, looking back in fondness and love. Others are painful and and yet they can teach us things only taught through experience alone.
Tomorrow will be a new day. The picture that was supposed to be will be changed...again but just as real as ever before. What will I make of my master piece in the making? What will you make of yours?
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Showing posts with label love. Show all posts
Thursday, June 29, 2017
Saturday, June 15, 2013
While chatting with a friend the other day She asked me a question that struck a cord with me. She asked me if I have ever wondered about what I could be contributing more somewhere else other than being in the home with my children.
Up until about a year ago I was struggling with this very thing. When I was single I was able to do so many things. While in college I would give 44 hours for school, then work 20-30 hours. To top that off I had church responsibilities to full fill and friends to spend time with, along projects to work on. I felt like I was constantly on the go.
When I married and even after having my first child, things didn't seem to change all that much. With the older children all in school, or away, I could clean the house, go to the gym, work on projects, take care of the baby and juggle other miscellaneous things as well. I even had time to drop in on friends and visit. Still, when the second child came I was able to do many things I wanted to.
However, baby number three (for me, but child eight over all) seemed to come as a curve ball to me. I wasn't sure what hit me when he arrived, and it has taken me some time to get where I feel like I might be becoming human again. For a period of time I often thought of all of the things I could be doing and contributing to society if I wasn't "tied down".
Through some personal trials the past couple of years I have come to understand what a blessing it is that I can be home with my children. Not only can I be home with them but I am able to be a part of their growing up. I am able to watch them grow and experience life, and I can be there when they scrape their knees.
While I watch the youngest of the older ones and seeing how quickly he has grown and sometimes feeling like I have missed out on much of his growing while caring for wee ones. It has helped me realize how quickly time does go by.
The other day I was looking at our wedding pictures. The youngest boy was seven when My hubby and I married. At seven years old he was so little and precious. It seems like it was only last year, and yet, he is now wanting his drivers permit, he is getting summer jobs and he is growing faster than I would like. In seeing this I have come to the realization that the younger three are going to be gone before I know it and I need to cherish these moments now along with the time I can spend with them. One day they are going to be off cherishing their own little ones and I will be on the side lines instead of front stage with them.
So, yes. There are times I have thought and wondered on whether I could contribute more else where. But to be honest, my children are my world. In this season of my life I am glad to be giving them of my time and talents. I may not receive the recognition of magazines, new papers, or a Nobel Prize. However the recognition those could give can not even begin to replace the late night talks I have had with the older children, the hugs of the little children nor can it replace the relationship I have with my children. Oh, how I love staying home with my children and watching them grow. Each stage is a treasured gift.
Up until about a year ago I was struggling with this very thing. When I was single I was able to do so many things. While in college I would give 44 hours for school, then work 20-30 hours. To top that off I had church responsibilities to full fill and friends to spend time with, along projects to work on. I felt like I was constantly on the go.
When I married and even after having my first child, things didn't seem to change all that much. With the older children all in school, or away, I could clean the house, go to the gym, work on projects, take care of the baby and juggle other miscellaneous things as well. I even had time to drop in on friends and visit. Still, when the second child came I was able to do many things I wanted to.
However, baby number three (for me, but child eight over all) seemed to come as a curve ball to me. I wasn't sure what hit me when he arrived, and it has taken me some time to get where I feel like I might be becoming human again. For a period of time I often thought of all of the things I could be doing and contributing to society if I wasn't "tied down".
Through some personal trials the past couple of years I have come to understand what a blessing it is that I can be home with my children. Not only can I be home with them but I am able to be a part of their growing up. I am able to watch them grow and experience life, and I can be there when they scrape their knees.
While I watch the youngest of the older ones and seeing how quickly he has grown and sometimes feeling like I have missed out on much of his growing while caring for wee ones. It has helped me realize how quickly time does go by.
The other day I was looking at our wedding pictures. The youngest boy was seven when My hubby and I married. At seven years old he was so little and precious. It seems like it was only last year, and yet, he is now wanting his drivers permit, he is getting summer jobs and he is growing faster than I would like. In seeing this I have come to the realization that the younger three are going to be gone before I know it and I need to cherish these moments now along with the time I can spend with them. One day they are going to be off cherishing their own little ones and I will be on the side lines instead of front stage with them.
So, yes. There are times I have thought and wondered on whether I could contribute more else where. But to be honest, my children are my world. In this season of my life I am glad to be giving them of my time and talents. I may not receive the recognition of magazines, new papers, or a Nobel Prize. However the recognition those could give can not even begin to replace the late night talks I have had with the older children, the hugs of the little children nor can it replace the relationship I have with my children. Oh, how I love staying home with my children and watching them grow. Each stage is a treasured gift.
Monday, April 29, 2013
Reflections
I have been frustrated lately. Its obvious I know. So I have decided to make a list of things I am grateful for. Mainly as a reminder of all of the great blessings I have in my life.
1. I am married to and sealed to my best friend.
2. I have a big brother that loves me so much He gave his life for me.
3. I have been blessed to have wonderful children placed in my stewardship.
4. I am thankful for the scriptures and know they bring us closer to God and Christ.
5. I live in a day age where Christ's church has been fully restored upon the earth. I can receive all of His promised blessings.
6. I have been blessed with many talents.
7. I have blessed with a handful of amazing friends.
8. I am blessed to be surrounded by people who know me.
9. I am blessed to have older children who don't mind helping me with the younger children.
10. I love spring time. I love to see flowers blooming.
11. Speaking of flowers, I love tulips and daisies...and forget me nots.
12. I love that I am able to say home and raise my children, and I can watch them grow.
13. I love listening to and reading the words of our living prophet.
14. I loved going to Time out for Women for the first time and being spiritually fed.
15. I love to listen to others share how the Savior is working in their lives.
16. I have to admit I live thunder storms and watching the lightning dance across the sky.
17. I was raised by two converts to the church. They raised me well.
18. I know that Heavenly Father loves and cares for me.
19. I know the atonement was made for me.
20. I love General Conference. I can't express with words how much, but I love it.
21. I am blessed to have a wonder family, immediate and extended.
22. I love watching my children experience life and enjoy learning.
23. I love bright vibrant colors, be it in flowers, inks, paints, fabric, sunsets, scrapping papers, children's art work, stained glass, the rich colors of autumn and spring...I love bright rich colors.
24. I love listening to water rather in a brook, waterfall, or fountain.
24. I love the warmth felt when the sun kisses you on a summer day.
25. I love listening to rain fall on the roof or hit the window pane.
26. I enjoy doing acts of service.
27. I find peace in creating, and watching my children create.
28. I enjoy canning tomatoes with my husband in the late summer evenings.
29. I love feeling the wind in my hair when I ride my bike.
30. I love holding hands with my hubby when we go shopping.
31. I love just chatting with mu hubby about the kids, his work, or the day to day goings ons.
32. I love calling my parents and telling them about the latest with my children.
33. I am grateful that my husband holds and honors his priesthood responsibilities.
34. I love when my children come up and give me an unexpected hug. (It warms me to the bone. I melt.)
35. I love listening to a beautiful piece of music, be it instrumental, or vocal.
36. I love memories of Brazil.
37. I struggle with being human at times more than others. Then again, this makes me more thankful for the atonement.
38. I enjoy watching people enjoying their talents and blessings.
39. I love those quite moments when the Lord inspires you and tells you He know you can do it, He is there to help.
40. I am thankful for the example the Savior set in doing the Fathers will and not His own. It is a hard one to follow at times, but I know with His help I can do anything.
41. I love sunny days.
42. I love road trips.
43. I love lazy afternoons.
44. I love roasting marshmallows over a fire and chatting with our children.
45. I love spring. The smells, sights and sounds of spring are all reminders that there is always another day. We can start anew and with a fresh slate.
46. I love when my husband holds me in his arms and tells me he loves me.
47. I love sticky cotton candy.
48. I love visiting with my siblings and cousins. They know me and love me just the same. I love them just the same.
49. I love the smell of clean laundry. I love how if feels when it first comes out of the dryer.
50. I love folding laundry. It is relaxing to me. However I hate sorting socks.
51. I enjoy washing dishes. It gives me time to think and I feel like my worries are washed away with the scum I scrub off.
52. I enjoy mopping the floor by hand. I see the scum come off and get to scrub out frustration. When I am done I can look around and see the reward of my work.
53. I love to day dream.
54. I enjoy going to the gym and feeling sore after words.
55. I love visiting my husband at work, he always lights up to see me.
56. I love teaching my little princess how to do things, her creativity astounds me.
57. I love watching my little mans mind at work. The way he perceives the world is so unique to me.
58. I love holding my youngest one. I know that he and the others are going to be all too soon gorwn for that and I try to embrace each opportunity given to me.
59. I enjoy exploring with my husband and children.
60. I love spending time with those who care and mater most to me.
61. I enjoy being a parent. Sure it has its moments, but the rewards make it so worth it.
62. I enjoy watching my children laugh and enjoy each other.
63. I love when I can visit with a kindred spirit and our children get along.
64. I am thankful for my testimony of the gospel and Gods love for me.
65. I love those white fluffy clouds on hot sunny days.
66. I love being able to sit down once in a while and being able to enjoy a good book.
67. I enjoy those moments when I can sit and relax in a warm bath and think over the day or week.
68. I am grateful for the in-laws I have.
69. I love listening to the violin.
70. I love listening to the piano. Most string instruments for that mater.
71. I am blessed to have some amazing friends.
72. I love flowers. Really I do.
73. I love looking at life photography.
74. I love dreaming and seeing those dreams become realities. (I need to do more of it.)
75. I love the smell of bred baking.
76. I love the smell of apple pie baking as well.
77. I enjoy going to the library with my hubby and reading a good magazine.
78. I enjoy bowling with my husband.
79. I enjoy watching a good movie snuggled up to my hubby.
80. I love staying up late with one of my older boys and discussing life and the lessons it provides.
81. I love a big mug of hot chocolate on a winter evening with almond joy creamer in it.
82. I love being reminded of these many great blessing I have in my life. There are many more, but it is late.
1. I am married to and sealed to my best friend.
2. I have a big brother that loves me so much He gave his life for me.
3. I have been blessed to have wonderful children placed in my stewardship.
4. I am thankful for the scriptures and know they bring us closer to God and Christ.
5. I live in a day age where Christ's church has been fully restored upon the earth. I can receive all of His promised blessings.
6. I have been blessed with many talents.
7. I have blessed with a handful of amazing friends.
8. I am blessed to be surrounded by people who know me.
9. I am blessed to have older children who don't mind helping me with the younger children.
10. I love spring time. I love to see flowers blooming.
11. Speaking of flowers, I love tulips and daisies...and forget me nots.
12. I love that I am able to say home and raise my children, and I can watch them grow.
13. I love listening to and reading the words of our living prophet.
14. I loved going to Time out for Women for the first time and being spiritually fed.
15. I love to listen to others share how the Savior is working in their lives.
16. I have to admit I live thunder storms and watching the lightning dance across the sky.
17. I was raised by two converts to the church. They raised me well.
18. I know that Heavenly Father loves and cares for me.
19. I know the atonement was made for me.
20. I love General Conference. I can't express with words how much, but I love it.
21. I am blessed to have a wonder family, immediate and extended.
22. I love watching my children experience life and enjoy learning.
23. I love bright vibrant colors, be it in flowers, inks, paints, fabric, sunsets, scrapping papers, children's art work, stained glass, the rich colors of autumn and spring...I love bright rich colors.
24. I love listening to water rather in a brook, waterfall, or fountain.
24. I love the warmth felt when the sun kisses you on a summer day.
25. I love listening to rain fall on the roof or hit the window pane.
26. I enjoy doing acts of service.
27. I find peace in creating, and watching my children create.
28. I enjoy canning tomatoes with my husband in the late summer evenings.
29. I love feeling the wind in my hair when I ride my bike.
30. I love holding hands with my hubby when we go shopping.
31. I love just chatting with mu hubby about the kids, his work, or the day to day goings ons.
32. I love calling my parents and telling them about the latest with my children.
33. I am grateful that my husband holds and honors his priesthood responsibilities.
34. I love when my children come up and give me an unexpected hug. (It warms me to the bone. I melt.)
35. I love listening to a beautiful piece of music, be it instrumental, or vocal.
36. I love memories of Brazil.
37. I struggle with being human at times more than others. Then again, this makes me more thankful for the atonement.
38. I enjoy watching people enjoying their talents and blessings.
39. I love those quite moments when the Lord inspires you and tells you He know you can do it, He is there to help.
40. I am thankful for the example the Savior set in doing the Fathers will and not His own. It is a hard one to follow at times, but I know with His help I can do anything.
41. I love sunny days.
42. I love road trips.
43. I love lazy afternoons.
44. I love roasting marshmallows over a fire and chatting with our children.
45. I love spring. The smells, sights and sounds of spring are all reminders that there is always another day. We can start anew and with a fresh slate.
46. I love when my husband holds me in his arms and tells me he loves me.
47. I love sticky cotton candy.
48. I love visiting with my siblings and cousins. They know me and love me just the same. I love them just the same.
49. I love the smell of clean laundry. I love how if feels when it first comes out of the dryer.
50. I love folding laundry. It is relaxing to me. However I hate sorting socks.
51. I enjoy washing dishes. It gives me time to think and I feel like my worries are washed away with the scum I scrub off.
52. I enjoy mopping the floor by hand. I see the scum come off and get to scrub out frustration. When I am done I can look around and see the reward of my work.
53. I love to day dream.
54. I enjoy going to the gym and feeling sore after words.
55. I love visiting my husband at work, he always lights up to see me.
56. I love teaching my little princess how to do things, her creativity astounds me.
57. I love watching my little mans mind at work. The way he perceives the world is so unique to me.
58. I love holding my youngest one. I know that he and the others are going to be all too soon gorwn for that and I try to embrace each opportunity given to me.
59. I enjoy exploring with my husband and children.
60. I love spending time with those who care and mater most to me.
61. I enjoy being a parent. Sure it has its moments, but the rewards make it so worth it.
62. I enjoy watching my children laugh and enjoy each other.
63. I love when I can visit with a kindred spirit and our children get along.
64. I am thankful for my testimony of the gospel and Gods love for me.
65. I love those white fluffy clouds on hot sunny days.
66. I love being able to sit down once in a while and being able to enjoy a good book.
67. I enjoy those moments when I can sit and relax in a warm bath and think over the day or week.
68. I am grateful for the in-laws I have.
69. I love listening to the violin.
70. I love listening to the piano. Most string instruments for that mater.
71. I am blessed to have some amazing friends.
72. I love flowers. Really I do.
73. I love looking at life photography.
74. I love dreaming and seeing those dreams become realities. (I need to do more of it.)
75. I love the smell of bred baking.
76. I love the smell of apple pie baking as well.
77. I enjoy going to the library with my hubby and reading a good magazine.
78. I enjoy bowling with my husband.
79. I enjoy watching a good movie snuggled up to my hubby.
80. I love staying up late with one of my older boys and discussing life and the lessons it provides.
81. I love a big mug of hot chocolate on a winter evening with almond joy creamer in it.
82. I love being reminded of these many great blessing I have in my life. There are many more, but it is late.
Thursday, February 23, 2012
Money
Money. Who wants it? Everyone, it seems like no matter how much we have though it never seems to be enough. As I was pondering about this topic this morning, I thought "You can buy anything with money." But then I began to think on that and realized what an untruth that is.
Here are things I thought of you can not buy with money:
Another's trust. It can't be purchased with money, it can only be gained through one's actions and it is fragile.
Another's love. True love, pure love is not purchased with money. It is purchased with serving, being there when others leave, simply being a stable and trusted being. I realize that affection can be purchased, but as easily as it is purchased, it is thrown away. That is where individuals begin to lose sight of their true self worth...one of Satan's greatest tools.
Character. This is once again something built up over periods of time, and can easily be destroyed.
With money you can buy armies to destroy, even people. However money does not take away others identities with God. It can not buy you into heaven. It can not buy true happiness, only temporal pleasure. Money can not change any truth. These are just a few of my thoughts this morning.
Here are things I thought of you can not buy with money:
Another's trust. It can't be purchased with money, it can only be gained through one's actions and it is fragile.
Another's love. True love, pure love is not purchased with money. It is purchased with serving, being there when others leave, simply being a stable and trusted being. I realize that affection can be purchased, but as easily as it is purchased, it is thrown away. That is where individuals begin to lose sight of their true self worth...one of Satan's greatest tools.
Character. This is once again something built up over periods of time, and can easily be destroyed.
With money you can buy armies to destroy, even people. However money does not take away others identities with God. It can not buy you into heaven. It can not buy true happiness, only temporal pleasure. Money can not change any truth. These are just a few of my thoughts this morning.
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