While chatting with a friend the other day She asked me a question that struck a cord with me. She asked me if I have ever wondered about what I could be contributing more somewhere else other than being in the home with my children.

Up until about a year ago I was struggling with this very thing. When I was single I was able to do so many things. While in college I would give 44 hours for school, then work 20-30 hours. To top that off I had church responsibilities to full fill and friends to spend time with, along projects to work on. I felt like I was constantly on the go.

When I married and even after having my first child, things didn't seem to change all that much. With the older children all in school, or away, I could clean the house, go to the gym, work on projects, take care of the baby and juggle other miscellaneous things as well. I even had time to drop in on friends and visit. Still, when the second child came I was able to do many things I wanted to.

However, baby number three (for me, but child eight over all) seemed to come as a curve ball to me. I wasn't sure what hit me when he arrived, and it has taken me some time to get where I feel like I might be becoming human again. For a period of time I often thought of all of the things I could be doing and contributing to society if I wasn't "tied down".

Through some personal trials the past couple of years I have come to understand what a blessing it is that I can be home with my children. Not only can I be home with them but I am able to be a part of their growing up. I am able to watch them grow and experience life, and I can be there when they scrape their knees.

While I watch the youngest of the older ones and seeing how quickly he has grown and sometimes feeling like I have missed out on much of his growing while caring for wee ones. It has helped me realize how quickly time does go by.

The other day I was looking at our wedding pictures. The youngest boy was seven when My hubby and I married. At seven years old he was so little and precious. It seems like it was only last year, and yet, he is now wanting his drivers permit, he is getting summer jobs and he is growing faster than I would like. In seeing this I have come to the realization that the younger three are going to be gone before I know it and I need to cherish these moments now along with the time I can spend with them. One day they are going to be off cherishing their own little ones and I will be on the side lines instead of front stage with them.

So, yes. There are times I have thought and wondered on whether I could contribute more else where. But to be honest, my children are my world. In this season of my life I am glad to be giving them of my time and talents. I may not receive the recognition of magazines, new papers, or a Nobel Prize. However the recognition those could give can not even begin to replace the late night talks I have had with the older children, the hugs of the little children nor can it replace the relationship I have with my children. Oh, how I love staying home with my children and watching them grow. Each stage is a treasured gift.

Motherhood in a Nutshell

The other day a dear friend of mine posted this on face book. It is quite possible you have already seen it. However, I loved it, Glennon Melton says this so well...eloquently. It will take a couple of minutes to read, but I promise it is worth your time!

http://www.huffingtonpost.com/glennon-melton/dont-carpe-diem_b_1206346.html

A Day in My Thoughts

There are times as a mother and step mother that I feel I am failing my children. Sometimes I feel like I am doing a great job and there are times like this season where I feel like I am in a dip and can't … or don't quite know how to pull myself out.

Most of the time it feels like I am just going through the motions of being a mother. I get my children ready for the day, I feed them dress them , make sure they dress themselves. If I am lucky my daughter gets her hair fixed, my sons get their hair combed or cut, and I get them off to church.

Sadly I can say there is a lot of time spent in front of the television. Too much to be precise. I justify it by saying it is educational tv. At night I rack my brain with things we could do together during the day, but it seems more often than not none of it happens. I end up nursing the baby, attempting to clean the kitchen, making an attempt to catch up on laundry, cleaning up spills...the list seems to grow.

It seems selfish wanting to do something for myself. Some sort of craft, something to help me feel accomplished.

To complain I know I shouldn't, my husband does so much for me. He gives my gym time. He tries to give me “me” time, but when I actually get it I don't even know where to start, so it turns out I get nothing done. It is like a vicious cycle of sorts. A dear friend told me it the season of life that I am in.

Don't get me wrong. I love watching my children grow. I know there are many mothers out there that would give anything to be where I am. Just at this time I am feeling over whelmed. I become more overwhelmed when I realize that in not to distant of a future I will have all of the time I could ever want on my hands, with children all in school, and then someday married.

I guess my thoughts are, how do I get the most out of NOW? I catch myself wishing it away at times, and then turn to try and hold on with my might and yet my children continue to grow, and the cycle continues to repeat its self bringing on a bit of a different dimension each round.

These are just a few of my thoughts these days that I have been able to put into words.