Humble Pie

Well, I have been eating a hefty piece of humble pie the past few weeks. I have been swishing it back and forth in my mouth and while it is quite bitter and uncomfortable, the reality is; I think I am ready to swallow it and move forward.

The past couple of years I have been struggling off and on with depression. I know, I am not the only one who has it, and I also know there are others out there with it a lot worse. I have been trying to make changes in my life, I painted my kitchen, my bathroom, rearranged our coat closet, reorganized my craft room, cleaned out my wardrobe, and still I have this grey cloud that follows me around. Eeyore and I could be best buds.

One evening I was expressing some of my clouds with my hubby. He listened but didn't really know what to say. I have been praying for opportunities to change things in my life. I have been trying to read my scriptures more and include the Lord more in my life through prayer and taking time to ponder about things. My youngest is not yet in school and I have always thought and wanted to be home with my kiddos. I have taken great pride in being able to do so.

An acquaintance approached me on doing day care for her and I thought sure, why not, this might just be what I have been looking for. Shortly after her asking me, my husband suggested maybe I look for a job. Nothing full time, maybe just a couple evenings a week, a couple Saturdays a month. I could do this, it would get me out of the house and around other people...it might just be what I needed. When he suggested this it was like I had been given back my wings! I didn't realize that I had thought of them as lost, but I felt a freedom or release and by George it felt great! I then found out this week that plans had changed for me taking on the day care. This meaning other options were a bit more realistic

Well, today I have put in my first application. I don't know if I will get the job, but I have a chance. I hope I do. If you judge me I am okay with it, I have judged others in the past. I am finding I need to be careful what judgments I make, because more often than not the Lord has a way of feeding me humble pie. While it is a bit bitter, I do understand know how others may feel and where they are coming from.