Summer has begun! School is out and we are on to new adventures! We have already celebrated one of three birthdays in a weeks period of time. Today for Memorial day we visited my grandfathers grave, and have worked lazily around the house, ran a few errands and done the usual.

This summer is going to be more home bound than past summers. We have some projects to work on here at the house and that is where we are.

I have been watching the show Fixer Upper. I love it. As I watch it I see Jo completely in her element and it leaves me wondering what my element is. I love creating, and doing but have been feeling restricted lately. I don't know if it is all in my head? I love being a mom and being able to stay home with my children. But am I living up to my potential? Am I doing all that I can? I just don't know. Actually I know there are tons of other things I could be adding to my daily list, ugh.

When I look at the things some of my favorite bloggers are doing, some of my friends and I feel like I would love to let loose in some way, but I don't even know where I would like to let loose. My home feels a bit untouched. I have all of this crafting stuff I would like, but don't know where to begin... should I just get rid of it? Then while talking to my hubby about this a little bit he said I should hang on to it because it is who I am...I have a daughter who can just do anything she wants, she has absolutely no reserve. I want to be like my daughter, like my friends and people I look up to. I want to be in my element but I have no idea what it is right now.

I am feeling unsettled. I don't know if I have ever known my element. I have always hoped for what I have. Now I have it and feel in limbo, and unsettled. In the past the limbo meant that there was something around to corner, big changes. But moving is not on the horizon. I am married, and have children. I guess I could become a grandmother? However that doesn't seem to near in the future, though it would not be a disappointment. I will be 40 next year...could that be causing this unsettling feeling? I just feel a little disinquabilated...totally made up that word, but it expresses how I am feeling these days.

Sorry, I haven't written lately. I am in a funk. I am here, just in a funk.