Negativity

I have found myself being negative. Some may think this is my normal self. However, I look back, and I used to be pretty easy going. I would like to think I still am, I am just being handed a different selection from the trial bin and am not dealing with it as gracefully as I would like to imagine that I am. With that admission out there I am going to try something and see if I can change it.

Last year I was invited from some friends to begin studying the scriptures again. I will gladly tell you I am doing much better at it than I have for a little while. It feels good. Then the other day I was visiting with some other friends and they asked me how my relationship is with God? I have to admit I have been struggling with this one. I know He is there. I know He loves His children. I know this, but some how think I am exempt.

Over the past...I don't know ho long ago I have turned from Him. Some out of hurt, some out of anger. In turning from Him I have done things more to go through the motions rather than to develop and nurture a relationship I have cherished in the past. Maybe some of it has been mistaken pride? I have thought I need to prove to Him where my heart is, and I have to so it alone.

As I was reading my scriptures a while back I had a scripture stand out. In Second Nephi it read:


19 And now, my beloved brethren, after ye have gotten into this strait and narrow path, I would ask if all is done? Behold, I say unto you, Nay; for ye have not come thus far save it were by the word of Christ with unshaken faith in him, relying wholly upon the merits of him who is mighty to save.

 20 Wherefore, ye must press forward with a steadfastness in Christ, having a perfect brightness of hope, and a love of God and of all men. Wherefore, if ye shall press forward, feasting upon the word of Christ, and endure to the end, behold, thus saith the Father: Ye shall have eternal life.

 21 And now, behold, my beloved brethren, this is the way; and there is none other way nor name given under heaven whereby man can be saved in the kingdom of God. And now, behold, this is the doctrine of Christ, and the only and true doctrine of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Ghost, which is one God, without end. Amen.

I added the italics, because that is what stood out. In reading that I realized something. I am not expected to prove myself alone. In fact I can't. I need my older brother, and only through him can I return to my Father.

As I talked with my other friends the other day I realized that Heavenly Father still speaks to me, He is approaching it a little differently, but He is still there, He still loves me, and He wants to have a relationship with me as a loving Father. His arms are still open. 

So I am going to try and be better at studying the scriptures with more of a purpose, and open heart. I am going to try and be more sincere in my prayers, knowing that He wants to hear me, He wants to talk with me, and He will listen, even if it is just me. He loves me. I am also try to write in my Journal more so I can see Him work in my life. This is my plan at the moment. I want to be more positive and see more of His work in my life, I can't think of a better way to recognize it. Can you?