Parenting

When you decide to be a parent, it is a huge decision. Until you are living it though you can't begin to understand how big it really is. There are those moments when you feel like you have bit off a whole lot more than you can chew and find yourself chocking.

With my younger children things for the most part are easy. I have the fears of an average parent. Am I spending enough time with them? Do they know I love them? Then there are the things where I hope they can talk to me about anything, any questions, concerns, fears, joys, accomplishments, failures....For the most part I believe they do.

With the older children things are a bit more complicated. I always want to help, and the worries seem bigger. It seems at times they think I am meddling in things that are no longer my business{Frankly, that is more likely the case than I would like to admit.} They are practicing their agency on a bigger plane. While it is exciting and I want everything to be perfect for them I have a hard time stepping back and watching. Don't think I don't trust God in taking over, I do, however I have a real hard time having faith in knowing He knows better than even I do what will be best for these children.I know that sounds prideful as I type it...*I shake my head at myself*

It is funny. You would think because I am not their biological mother I wouldn't have these feelings. You would think with the gospel in my life I would have more faith. Where is it? Why do I find myself trying to help when my help has not been requested? Why can I not trust that these children are putting their trust in the Lord as I should be?

So I had to put this out there to remind myself that I need to back off and let God take the wheel.