The other day I was sharing with a friend what I had felt the Lord has been trying to teach me. I shared it with you two entries ago. You know where there are people placed in my circle who don't want my help. As I explained to her how I had been feeling she interrupted me and told me that there may be another way to look at it as well.
Through my learning I had felt I should just pull away from individuals and give up on them. While agreeing with me this friend gracefully disagreed, but not telling me I was totally wrong. Instead she said that there was another way too look at it. It was alright to take a step back. It is quite possible that the Lord needs my emphasis else where. Namely in raising the children I have in my immediate care. I need to put my emphasis on being a wife and mother.
Anyone not with in that realm are bonus. There are those who don't want my help at this time. I can't help them at this time, and it is okay. It is not expected of me to do so. Right now God does expect of me to teach my children, to raise them up and help them to have a place of refuge from the world, a place where they know they are loved unconditionally.
While thinking about this I think I am beginning to understand something else. While there are those I would love to help and lift now(who aren't ready to receive that hand that I have stretched out for them.) God has place others who are capable of doing that which I can not. There is the possibility that one day those individuals will realize my attempt and be grateful for it. So instead of giving up on them, per se, I need to focus on the task at hand. In the future if an individual changes their mind, I can be prepared to receive their change of heart, because I too allowed the Savior to work on me.
A couple of years ago I had told my husband I would rather be in hell than have to deal with some personalities. He told me that was the most selfish thing he had heard me say. (I felt like that was a slap.) Over time I am discovering how selfish that thought really was. Not only was it selfish, but it was allowing the adversary to win. If I am doing the best on my part to do good and return to Live with Heavenly Father, the Savior is going to help, and he will make up the difference for me. Not only will he do this for me, but for my brothers and sisters I don't always agree with.
That being the case, If there is someone I can't necessarily work with at the moment, it is okay to turn them over to the Lord. Who knows better how to handle them than the Savior. For that mater, who knows better how to handle me? Now if He can handle any one of us, than why do I have to assume things are going to be so uncomfortable in the next life.
All in all, His expectations of me are to give Him my best. After I have given my best He will make up the difference. This does not excuse me from being kind to others and trying to help them. It does however give me the power to move forward. We did fight for our agency in the first place. We continue to, so why not use it to rely on the Savior and learn to become like him. I know some of this sounds like babbling, but some of it may make some sense as well.
Thanks for understanding...if not some what.
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