A couple of weeks ago I was beginning to feel a great amount of anxiety. Looking at the world at large was too much for me. I was beginning to be paralyzed with this anxiety, it was winning and I wasn't. The news is all pretty much doom and gloom, I opened facebook and it was all about politics which at the moment feels like more doom and gloom to me. I felt like I was being swallowed and fighting a losing battle. I was losing faith and hope.
I asked my husband for a blessing. I wasn't sure what to expect. Chastisement maybe for a lack in faith, maybe a reprimand for not walking the talk. I felt like I was simply going through the motions be it prayer, scripture study, parenting, being a spouse, pretty much every aspect of my life.
When I received the blessing not much was said. However, Heavenly Father told me he would like for me to pray to him more and put more trust in him. Later through some of my scripture study and reading conference issues He has been is teaching me that prayer is my greatest tool right now. Prayer is my greatest weapon in this battle called life.
In Alma chapter two when Amlici is trying to become king it is alarming to the righteous! Alma instructs the righteous to pray. The Lord hears their prayers and for their faith he strengthens them so they can defend their freedom, and their families. Through that strength they are able to beat back against unimaginable odds. (There is story after story much like this as I have read the scriptures.)
Jeffery R. Holland while speaking to the youth, but I think all, in this last October conference said: "Love God and remain free from the blood and sins of this generation. You have a monumental work to do...your Father in Heaven expects your loyalty and your love at every stage of your life." In reading this I realized I need to work on being loyal. I know The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is the true church. I know Heavenly Father has a plan for each of us, he knows each of us and cares for each of us. However I was losing faith in His plan. There is no reason I should, Christ has already done His part, He continues to do His part. My part is all that is left.
So, while I still have a long ways to go, My hope and faith has been renewed. I have a lot to work on.
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