Meditation

This past weekend our stake had a meeting for Primary workers. All of the meetings went well, but the last one put my mind to work. The Stake representative who was speaking was putting an emphasis on the importance of loving the children we serve without condition. While making this he remarked on how children love unconditionally and how somewhere along the way we begin to put conditions on it as we grow.

When I first heard this I denied being one of those adults. However as I thought more about it I realized he was correct. (I do try to love the children I teach unconditionally. But as I began thinking about what he had said I began to realize there is more to it than just the primary children we teach.) I think I love my children unconditionally, and my family. Reaching beyond those bonds though I realized however that I have reservations with some individuals due to past experiences. Because of those experiences I have difficulty loving them the way I understand the scriptures to teach.

At times as I look back to when I was younger I ache for the innocents of my youth. Forgiveness was easier for me back then. Also it was easier for me to not recognize some flaws that others had. I don't consider it a curse in seeing others flaws. I feel it is a blessing, because then I am more patient with them at times. In looking back though I feel like there is some sort of innocents lost, and not necessarily because of the doing of anyone in particular. I can think of particular instances where I have gained mistrust, but it seems with time I don't always give others a chance. Sometimes I find I have misread them. When that happens I am always glad. But there are times I find I have read them all too clearly. When that is the case it seems to further embed my trust issues, and I find it being an excuse to become more reserved and careful about who I let in close to me.

In and through this I am finding a couple of truths. I can't please everyone, and everyone has their own take on life. These truths are good. I wish in learning this that I could some how regain the innocents I had when I was younger. I wish that despite some of life's teachings I could still love unconditionally. I feel though at times it is impossible to love with out condition. I believe God wants us to love Him. In loving Him, He wants us to rely and trust in Him. As we do this, I believe He helps us see more clearly, not to get us down, rather so we can recognize our brothers and sister who can lift us, and whom we can lift at other times.

I think there are people who cross our paths who could truly and honestly care less about us. When we recognize this and turn to our Father in Heaven He can direct our paths and we can know with out a doubt that we are being lead to eternal happiness. This does not mean we aren't going to experience pain, hurt and anger due to the choices others make. It does mean that we can learn from those experiences and when the time is right we can forgive. Even if the individuals never ask for your forgiveness. (I love the patience I have felt towards me in this arena. Heavenly Father knows me better than I even know myself sometimes. I am grateful.)

Heavenly Father loves conditionally. However we are the ones who put the conditions and stipulations in place. He is willing to forgive us as many times as we sincerely repent. It is our choosing to turn our back on him and walking away that makes the conditions. He has told us that no unclean thing can enter his presents. There aren't exceptions, there can't be. However, He loves us so much He sent a perfect Son, even Jesus, who suffered for us. If we turn to him and put our trust in him we can be cleansed vessels. Both Heavenly Father and Christ have done their parts, now we must do ours. If we chose not to, then we are the ones making the condition.