Enlightment

In reading my scriptures this morning I found a precious gem. The past year or so I have struggled with wanting to read. I have felt like that is all I do. In my reading I was just doing it to get it marked off the list, so I could have the blessings. I was only reading, not studying, pondering, or praying about it. As of recently I have been invited on two separate occasions to start reading again.it has been a rocky start, but I am getting more out of my studies.

Last night I read a verse and felt like it was profound, however I was tired and decided to try again this morning. I have been reading the Isiah chapters...struggling through them to be more precise. So imagine how excited I was when Nephi began to instruct again, plainly. In chapter 32:9 is where I found some instruction I have been needing lately:

9 But behold, I say unto you that ye must ^apray always, 

and not faint; that ye must not perform any thing unto the Lord 

save in the first place ye shall ^bpray unto the Father in the ^cname of Christ, 

that he will ^dconsecrate thy performance unto thee, 

that thy performance may be for the ^ewelfare of thy soul.

Along with struggling to read my scriptures I have been praying but not with real intent. This scripture was profound to me because prayer really effects all aspects of my life. If I want to be a good mother I need Him for direction. He knows my children better than I do. If I want to do well in my calling, I need His help, He know the children I am teaching better than I do. If I want to be a good neighbor, step mother, wife...ME, then I need His help, He knows better than anyone how to help me reach my highest potential.

Someday I would like to return to my Father and have Him tell me He is pleased with the offering of my life I have offered. At the moment I have done little. I have let pride, maybe some enmity and lack of faith get in my way. This scripture is what I needed today.